Friday, October 4, 2013


It is 3:45am and I do not think I have ever felt this humiliated in my life as I cannot breathe except through the device covering a hole in my throat that spurts blood and debris with each chocking cough. I feel disgusting as I am covered in blood and fluids on my chest, face arms and hands which the nurse has to continually wipe away with packet after packet of sanitary wipes and piles of wash cloths.

I don't think I have ever come to a place of empathy for the unlovely and visually repulsive as I am at this very moment, for I am amongst them all and God is teaching me unconditional acceptance tonight with each passing hour.
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  1. That to shall pass. When you are most vulnerable is humbling and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Its temporary and that will bring some peace. We all accept you as you are...I am sure of that. Recovery is never pretty I know that however try find peace. In my heart.

  2. Jesus served by washing the feet of those he loves.

    Receive the "gift" of love, and are far from repulsive, and not at ALL in God's eyes. You are a SON of THE MOST HIGH GOD!

  3. Psalms 23 The Lord is my Shepard;I shall not want. He make me lie down in green pastures; He leads me besides the still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in the path of righteousness for His names sake. Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,I will fear no evil; for you are with me. Your rod and your staff, the comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. AMEN , this too will pass because He is with you take heart my friend I stand with you in prayer and anything else I can do. Love your brother in Christ

  4. You may have to learn to allow others to care for you & accept that they have chosen their role in your life because they want to be there for you.