tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40159910464818652402024-03-13T07:49:24.886-07:00Not What You Had Planned™Robert B. Haase’s public speaking career was temporarily derailed when he was told he would lose half of his tongue to save his life. On October 3, 2013, Robert had his 13th tongue cancer surgery, known as a "hemiglossectomy", removing the entire left half of his tongue. Robert released his book, Not What You Had Planned: Finding Strength and Hope in the Storms of Adversity, in July 2020.
Robert is available for public speaking engagements and can be contacted by email.Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.comBlogger61125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-4040816121285252332018-10-06T09:00:00.000-07:002018-12-07T07:54:19.606-08:005-Years Cancer-Free After My Hemiglossectomy, Radiation, and Chemotherapy Treatments!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It has been said, <i>"<span style="letter-spacing: -0.5px;">You may be cancer-free, but </span><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5px;">you’re not free of cancer.” </span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5px;">Regardless of the type of cancer, the psychological, physical, and emotional impacts endure. I did not choose to have cancer, but I can choose how I respond to it and the effects of treatment.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5px;">Just as others have encouraged and supported me through this process, I hope to give back and offer the same to you.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: -0.5px;">In my latest video, I share about these last 5-years as I've been <i>"dancing with N.E.D."</i>, as a friend says, or <i>"no evidence of disease"</i>. I also lend some insights to those who are facing the possibility of a hemiglossectomy as well as those recovering from one or other types of oral cancers.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="text-align: center;"><i>Very Truly Yours,</i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="text-align: center;">Robert B. Haase </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="text-align: center;">A Blessed Man </span></span><br />
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-13202634146182015352017-12-15T12:14:00.002-08:002017-12-15T12:21:32.435-08:004-Years Cancer Free Update (Belated)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Ever get so busy with life you forget to update your blog? :-) I posted this video on YouTube back in October of this year, but didn't post it on my blog at the same time. My apologies!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><u>Here is the YouTube Post:</u></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"On October 3, 2017, Robert Haase celebrated four years of being cancer free. In this encouragement update, Robert speaks about what he's learned as he's researching for his new book, Run Through the Fire."</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">To my readers, thank you for all of your prayers and encouragement. And, to those who happen upon this blog in search of answers about hemiglossectomy, tongue cancer, squamous cell carcinoma, or learning to speak with your "new" tongue after surgery and treatment, please feel free to drop me an <a href="mailto:bob.haase@gmail.com" target="_blank">email</a>. I would love to encourage you and your loved ones through this difficult time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Blessings, my friends,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="text-align: center;">Very Truly Yours,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="text-align: center;">Robert B. Haase </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="text-align: center;">A Blessed Man </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/robert.haase" target="_blank">Friend me on Facebook</a></span></span></div>
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-53179228986142872142017-10-06T11:57:00.004-07:002017-11-25T13:12:56.603-08:00Have you faced adversity? <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Hello again!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">As I sat down to write this morning, I realized it has been months since my last post. Some have wondered if that was an "ominous sign" and were worried the cancer was back, but I'm happy to report I am well and have been keeping myself more than busy.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The biggest news is, as of October 3, 2017, I have been officially
cancer-free for 4-years! Statistically, I shouldn't still be here, but I
have much to do in my mission to bless and encourage others as they face or recover from their
own life-challenging situations.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Over these past few months, I've been teaching my seminars, traveling extensively in the US and Europe as well as working on my upcoming book about facing adversity, <i>Run Through the Fire</i>. The research phase for my book has been beyond inspiring as I have been speaking with others who have gone through their own hardships, emerging better people on the other side.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">As I write, I don't want to just tell you about my story and what tools I used to remain positive during my experiences, but I want to learn from you as well. If you have gone through adversity of some type, I would mean a lot to me have you lend me your insights. To help me in this process, please download my <a href="https://www.dropbox.com/s/7ie3ohnlg7556jz/Adversity_Questionaire_v.3.1.docx?dl=0" target="_blank">adversity questionnaire here</a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>.</i></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">In celebration of my 48-month milestone, I made a short video to share just a little of what I have been learning. In case you're wondering why there is a black strap over my left shoulder, I am recovering from a major shoulder and biceps repair surgery. It seems my <i>pre-cancer-super-human-strength</i> hasn't just yet. I attempted to catch a 125lb window-mount air conditioner with my right arm as it fell due to a faulty "heavy-duty" mount bracket failure. Let's just say typing isn't as easy with an arm sling in place. ;-)</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Very Truly Yours,</span></span></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Robert B. Haase</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">A Blessed Man</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/robert.haase" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Friend me on Facebook </span></span></a></span></span></div>
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-74091029288344158532017-02-06T16:59:00.001-08:002017-02-06T16:59:08.617-08:0040-Months Since My Hemiglossectomy! (PS: I got married too!)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I can't believe so much time has passed since my last post! </span></span>It has now been 3-years and 4-months since having <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">the left half of my tongu<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">e removed (a</span></span> hemiglossectom<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">y).</span> Life has been good and I continue to feel blessed by even the simplest of things. 2016 brought blessings including new friends, a new home, and most amazingly, a <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">an amazing</span> wife! For details, please watch my latest video blog post from today. </span></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Very Truly Yours,</span></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Robert B. Haase</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A Blessed Man</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/robert.haase" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Friend me on Facebook </span></span></a><br />
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-74963548814045261592016-04-25T08:12:00.001-07:002016-04-25T08:12:11.122-07:0030-Months Cancer Free After My Hemiglossectomy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I am now 2-1/2 years cancer-free! Having had cancer return ever 6-months or so from 2008 through 2013, remaining cancer-free feels more than amazing! </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">If you have been given the news that you are facing a hemiglossectomy, I hope my latest video message encourages you...</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">April 25, 2016</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Very Truly Yours,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Robert B. Haase</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A Blessed Man</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/robert.haase" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Friend me on Facebook </span></span></a><br />
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<a href="mailto:robert@haaseseminars.com" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">email</span></span></a><br />
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-7022281840165315042015-12-14T11:04:00.003-08:002017-12-15T12:11:32.111-08:00You Are Not Alone<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Cancer is cancer. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">In my opinion, it doe<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">s not matter what type of cancer a person gets<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> because the <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">reality</span> is, <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">all cancer</span></span></span></span></span></span> all <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">is bad</span>.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">It has always seemed odd to me to <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">financially support </span>research <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">for</span> <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">a particular</span> type of cancer <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">because all cancer is<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> fun<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">d<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">a</span>mentally an</span></span></span></span></span> out-of-control mutation of the body's cells. <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">What I have learned from <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">the</span> 14 <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">surgical procedures on my tongue<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> is</span> that </span></span></span><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">the physical </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">devastation of </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>most cancer<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> types</span> can be hidden from the public.</span> <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I mean</span> no disrespect to those who have suffered <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">from</span> breast cancer, liver cancer, or other<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">s, <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">but </span></span>most cancer survivors can cover their <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">scars</span> and <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">camouflage</span> most of the damage that cancer leaves in i<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">ts wake.</span> Tongue cancer survivors are not as "<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">fortunate</span>", however. We cannot hide that we talk different or that we cannot swallow the same. We <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">do not</span> have a functioning tongue to easily sweep away the food that cakes into our teeth as we eat in public. If we had radiation treatments, we likely have <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">limited </span>salivary gland function and cannot easily eat or talk much without a beverage in hand. We<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> look at artisan bread as a tasteless sponge in our <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">mouths</span></span>. <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">At the ver<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">y least, it forces us to put our egos aside and be humbled<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">since the</span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> swath of destruction is out there for everyone to see when we endure the ravages of tongue cancer. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">When
I found out that I was going to have 1/2 of my tongue cut out, I
panicked at first. Then I did what most do when we want information on
something we do<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> not</span> understand... we "Google it"... The trouble <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">was</span>, when I
searched, nearly all of the information referred to the "facts"<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> about hemiglo<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">ssectomy rather than</span></span>
the reality of what <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I should</span> expect. With the exception of one video I found,
every site wanted to educate me on what a "hemiglossectomy" <i>was</i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">. </span> I
wanted to know what to <i>expect</i>.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">As
you probably know by now, my intent in starting this blog was to not
just to chronicle my story but to encourage others <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">and</span> help people who were
also facing an impending hemiglossectomy. People who were
about to face the unimaginable. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Regardless
of what you are facing, <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">how you get</span> through it comes down to choice. A choice that
involves a series of <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">individual</span> steps in the direction that you affix your
gaze. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I know from experience that the reassuring voice from </span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">one of my iPhone GPS apps</span></span> giving me a heads-up, warning me about upcoming turns, <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">traffic and <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">hazards</span>, making</span> the journey easier. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The
point is, knowing what to expect can be hugely impactful<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">. Knowing that something bad is in our future <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">can be</span> unsettling, but when we lack information about what lies ahea<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">d, it can be downright s<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">cary.</span></span></span> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">With this in mind</span> I have decided to begin <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">building<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> a platform for</span></span> others to tell their stories, allowing their experiences to be a blessing to <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">the world. I hope to<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span></span> help those who are facing a hemiglossectomy <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">by giving them</span> the information they need to mentally prepare<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">.</span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">In October of this year </span>I took a trip out to New York City and met with an amazing woman, Erica Casucci, who had a hemiglossectomy just two-months prior to when we met. Erica was researching the procedure prior to having it done and found this blog which helped prepare her for what <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">lay</span> ahead. I asked her if she would be willing to be my first interview to help others and she agreed, even though she still is struggling with her speech. This following video was filmed on October 17, 2015:</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">If you have any questions, plea<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">se feel free to send them along and I will try to address them in an upcoming blog or video post.</span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Thank you all for your love and support!</span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Very Truly Yours,<br />Robert B. Haase<br />A Blessed Man<br /><i><a href="https://www.facebook.com/robert.haase" target="_blank">Friend me on Facebook</a></i></span></span></div>
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-5491476504768141242015-10-02T09:43:00.001-07:002015-10-02T09:48:05.914-07:0024-Months Since I lost 1/2 of My Tongue - Video Update<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I cannot believe it has been 24-months since my hemiglossectomy and if there is one thing I have learned, it is this:</span></span><br />
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Life doesn't stop for cancer.</span></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Making the choice to push on when confronted with adversity doesn't make us special. It is all about taking inventory of what is important to us, finding a reason to not give up and pushing through.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">To those who get those devastating words, <i>"You have cancer"</i>, I encourage you to not let cancer define you. Let it just be another chapter in the adventure of life. Do not waste your energy worrying about dying but instead be grateful for the blessing of another day of living. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The following is my video message celebrating 24-months of recovery after having 1/2 of my tongue, the left half, cut out...</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">To those of you who have contacted me and shared the story of your own hemiglossectomy, thank you. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to pray for you hopefully encourage you. Please know that you are not in this journey alone. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Very Truly Yours,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Robert B. Haase</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A Blessed Man</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/robert.haase" target="_blank">Be my friend on Facebook</a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="mailto:blogspot@roberthaase.com" target="_blank">Email me</a></span></span></div>
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-78235911259863459192015-09-18T07:55:00.000-07:002015-09-18T08:02:32.240-07:00"Don't look where you are. Look where you want to be."<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdkfLuvTLt8YMoU1xqv4DljREjoPSdYGOogHQQOIVnjbKl5XbP59DfAw_ym0stZl7gJMobdyiSXQiffr3rnUnuQiIcWolNlI5GZtfrVWlhlnmmjyVxlqAIZjcVFV_FwBJ4jecpOovoLiI/s1600/haase+charity.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdkfLuvTLt8YMoU1xqv4DljREjoPSdYGOogHQQOIVnjbKl5XbP59DfAw_ym0stZl7gJMobdyiSXQiffr3rnUnuQiIcWolNlI5GZtfrVWlhlnmmjyVxlqAIZjcVFV_FwBJ4jecpOovoLiI/s400/haase+charity.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Two months ago today, on July 18, 2015, my friend and long-time teaching assistant was killed in a tragic accident. After teaching the first day of my seminar in Des Moines, Iowa, I received a text from a friend in Olympia asking me to call. She told me that she heard a rumor that Charity died in a freak sporting accident earlier that day. I was 1,800 miles away but confirmed it with Charity's sister, Coral. She didn't make it.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />Charity had always come with me to Iowa, but this time she stayed home and competed in the Wilkeson Handcar Races in Pierce County. <br /><br /><a href="http://www.theolympian.com/news/local/article27962194.html" target="_blank">The Olympian Newspaper covered the story</a> and then <a href="http://www.komonews.com/news/local/Friend-Woman-killed-in-handcar-accident-was-bigger-than-life-318069821.html" target="_blank">KOMO News</a> called and wanted to talk to me about Charity. While the cameraman was setting up, I spoke with the reporter off-camera about his previous interviews that day. I won't share here, and really don't want to share with anyone about what told me with me about the details of Charity's death, but it was horrible. I cannot fathom what her husband experienced as he tried to hold Charity together in her last moments of life after she was run over by that 1/2-ton handcar. Charity was a strong, energized and amazing woman who was the definition of health. The fact that she's dead makes no sense to me.<br /><br />If a year ago I told you that one of us, Charity or myself, would be dead, everyone would assume it would be me. Right? But why wasn't it me? Why do I get to live and she is gone? It's hard to write with the tears running down my cheeks and I'm filled with emotions as I write this. Anger, hurt, disbelief and sadness. <br /><br />Why not me?<br /><br />I've said those words before in this blog, "Why not me." In that post I was referring to people always saying, "why me?" when they face adversity. A certain percentage of people will deal with a given malady, for example, and when we say "Why me" when something happens, we are really saying that someone else should have to have the sickness or turmoil that you are facing instead of you. Charity dying seems senseless. Why not me? <br /><br />I've been quiet for a while on this blog, but much has been happening. <br /><br />Probably the biggest part of my unreported journey is the pain I've been dealing with. The first wave has been going on for the past year and a half in my face, jaw, neck, shoulders. It never stops, but it does get worse occasionally. An MRI recently showed a bone spur growing in my neck in response to the cervical radiation. Nothing really helps bone spurs and in the neck, surgery isn't an option.<br /><br />The aspect of the pain has been from the waist down. Apparently the combination of cervical radiation with the specific chemotherapy I was given, Cisplatin, causes a neurological condition called "Lhermitte's Syndrome, which is an electric shock-like sensation in the spine and extremities exacerbated by neck flexion." <br /><br />I didn't realize that what I experienced was from my treatment until a woman in the Seattle area heard my followup story on KOMO TV4 recently and told me of her similar experiences. She mentioned the "buzzing" down her legs and we started conversing about it. <br /><br />From the first time I started eating by mouth again after my chemotherapy and radiation in December of 2013, I have been getting a sharp, shooting pain in my jaw from the instant food hits my mouth which lasts about 60-seconds. The pain has been slowly increasing and has come to a crescendo in the past few weeks. It is overwhelming at times. For you anatomy buffs, it is located about 1.5" anterior of the ramus on the left side of my mandible. There has been a swelling at the site as well. <br /><br />I had my ENT examine it as well as my dentist. X-rays and a CT scan excluded cancer, but they found a complication from my major surgery in October of 2013. They confirmed that the arm tissue that was sewn into my remaining tongue tissue is anchored a bit too well. It seems to be pulling my gum away from my back left molar, revealing the root of my tooth. The dentist had a nifty camera that showed me what was happening and even emailed me the photo. I won't post it here. <br /><br />Trying to rebuild and run my business while conducting seminars nationally is time-consuming enough, but trying to squeeze in what will likely be two oral surgeries complete with tissue and bone grafts while continuing to speak publicly seems like a bit of a challenge. Good thing I have family and friends praying for me. <br /><br />In all of this I have had the amazing opportunity to meet others with my condition because of this blog. I am not alone. I feel blessed to have been able to encourage two young women who have had the surgery in the past couple of months. What they are enduring post-surgery is nearly identical to what I experienced. As a matter of fact, if you are reading this and you are facing a hemiglossectomy or have had one, please friend me on Facebook. I would love to be in contact with you be an encouragement however I can. Specifically, I am really looking forward to meeting a young elementary school teacher and her supportive husband when I am in New York City this next month.<br /><br />This journey has been hard. I try to stay strong for my daughters because I don't want them to worry about me. They have so much living to do and worrying about "what if's" when it comes to my health isn't healthy for them. In the movie, Insurgent in the Divergent series, the protagonist, Tris, has a virtual conversation with her mother about her bravery. Her mother says, "You are brave... braver than anyone." Tris replies, "I'm not brave mom. I pretend that I am, and I want people to think that I am, but I'm not. I'm really, really scared." <br /><br />Those words hit home to me when I heard them. I actually broke into tears because they are exactly what I've been holding deep inside. Then I realized that bravery isn't in hiding our fears. Bravery is what we do when faced with our fears. You can still be brave with tears running down your cheeks. One of the bravest men I've read about was Winston Churchill. He is often quoted as saying, "Never, never, never give up", or some variation of that. According to the <a href="http://www.winstonchurchill.org/resources/quotations/quotes-faq" target="_blank">Churchill Centre</a>, what he actually said in a speech was made October 29, 1941 to the boys at Harrow School was:</span></span><br />
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.''</span></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">To Charity's husband and daughter, I leave you with Churchill's words. The loss you feel which far exceeds my own will come in waves as it has with me. Periods of strength followed by raw weakness and utter sadness. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Churchill's advice is incredibly spot-on </span></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">regardless of what enemy you are facing. Whether that enemy be
fear, depression, pain, loss or broken dreams. Never give in to it. </span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It's like my driving instructor told me, <i>"Don't look where you are. Look where you want to be."</i></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Very Truly Yours,<br />Robert B. Haase<br />A Blessed Man<br /><i><a href="https://www.facebook.com/robert.haase" target="_blank">Friend me on Facebook</a></i></span></span></div>
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-81854310374599404402015-06-16T11:31:00.001-07:002015-06-16T11:33:01.865-07:00Encouragement and Hope<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I feel so blessed. It has now been over 20-months since my hemiglossectomy. I have able to travel, have resumed my public speaking, and have been able to return to as "normal" a life as I could imagine. Although I continue to face the ups and downs that we all experience, like the process of rebuilding a business or suddenly finding myself single, there have been so many blessings along the road.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I have had numerous people find this blog while searching the term "hemiglossectomy" or "tongue cancer" and they have "friended" me on Facebook or emailed me as a result. Having the common bond of the fears and pain that aggressive tongue cancer brings with it has been a blessing for me and for them. It doesn't matter what type of cancer you are faced with though. Realizing that inside your body is a pack of cells that want to do their best to end your life is more than unsettling. For all of the advances in medicine, fighting cancer still feels like a barbaric war. Chemical warfare... atomic energy that is used to make superheros in the movies but decimates parts of us instead. And after the battle, we have to deal with the aftermath, scars and wounds that lie deeper than we really ever thought was possible. We have a choice though. We can wallow in self-pity, or realize we are blessed to even have our next breath and yet another day to make a difference. The words we speak amidst the war we fight will live on longer than we will survive. Will those words be full of bitterness or encouragement and hope?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When Molly Shen from KOMO TV 4 (Seattle's ABC affiliate) came to my home to interview me last month, she confirmed that my surgeon had been badly burned on his arms and hands last year and was unable to perform surgeries for a while. He told her that he had reflected on my conversations with him during my treatment at Virginia Mason Hospital and my words, attitude and perspective was a part of what helped him get through his own ordeal. You can read the story and <a href="http://www.komonews.com/news/local/Public-speaker-back-to-work-after-tongue-cancer-surgery-304638421.html" target="_blank">watch the video on the KOMOnews.com site here</a>. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Although I still am a business and marketing consultant and speak on various topics, I am feeling a tug in my heart to begin giving people tools and encouragement when they face adversity. You may have heard of "<a href="https://www.ted.com/talks" target="_blank">TED Talks</a>" or have seen some of their viral videos on the web, email or via Facebook. I was told that they are coming to Olympia, Washington in September and were looking for speakers. The theme for the Olympia presentations is "The Point of No Return." They wanted speakers to submit their stories about how something happened in their lives that changed their lives and the course of their future. I thought, "Bingo! That is EXACTLY me! Of course they will want to hear me tell my story. I'm already comfortable in front of audiences!" I even planned my fall national seminar schedule around my inevitable selection from the TED Talk people. I was so excited that my story would be able to help millions.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And then the email arrived. <i>"You were not selected..."</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">At first I was hurt and dismayed. Then I realized that every time something like this has happened, God had a better, bigger plan. The next day I secured the name of this blog as a website – <a href="http://www.notwhatyouhadplanned.com/" target="_blank">http://www.NotWhatYouHadPlanned.com</a>. It currently forwards to this blog, but the "Encouragement Talks" (only a working title) will be coming as my schedule allows. If you have a story and are comfortable telling it on video, send me a short email of your story with "Encouragement Talks" in the subject line and I'll get back to you in the near future. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My heart's desire is in talking with others, encouraging them, helping them see that there is hope when all hope seems lost. Whether an audience of one or thousands, I want to use the life that I have left to be a blessing and change our world through kindness, encouragement, hope and being a blessing to everyone I meet. In the KOMO News video, I say "I am not afraid to die... I am afraid not to live." </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Be a blessing to someone today. We are not guaranteed a chance to have the opportunity to do so tomorrow. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Robert B. Haase<br />A Blessed Man</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/robert.haase" target="_blank">Be my friend on Facebook</a></span></span></span></div>
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-80537971049149031092015-04-04T14:09:00.001-07:002015-04-04T14:09:05.014-07:0018-Month Update<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">It's been 18-months since having 1/2 of my tongue removed and I wanted to give you an update. When I say I'm not "religious", it's because my faith has grown in my relationship versus my religion. I am a blessed man indeed... </span></span></div>
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-52690112263631158792014-12-17T10:50:00.001-08:002015-03-09T08:59:59.580-07:00Time to Breathe<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Today, December 17<sup>th</sup>, 2014 is the one-year anniversary
of the end of the treatment I endured to kill the remains of this vicious
cancer that took half of my tongue. As I reflect back on the whole experience, I’m
not sure how to feel, really. Should I be happy that it’s been over with for a
year? Sad that I had to go through treatment that almost resulted in the end of
my life? <a href="http://notwhatyouhadplanned.blogspot.com/2014/01/death-driving-and-tomorrow.html" target="_blank">You can read about my near-death experience here.</a> How do you feel about such an anniversary?
As I look back, I think the only emotion that remains is the fullness that
comes with feeling blessed. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As I write this, I am at 37,000-feet flying home from
spending 5-days in Miami visiting with my daughter, Sara. She’s the one who
appeared in the recent <a href="http://youtu.be/R1BoBzbSMM0" target="_blank">USA Today/King5 video</a>. As we were having breakfast
outdoors at the <a href="http://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g34439-d819386-Reviews-Front_Porch_Cafe-Miami_Beach_Florida.html" target="_blank">Front Porch Café</a> on Miami Beach this morning and the sun was on
my face, I felt such radiating warmth. Warmth I wouldn’t have felt if I wasn’t
still alive. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Over the past year I have spoken to numerous people that
have confirmed that I am a walking miracle. Many who face the aggressive type
of cancer I had simply don’t make it. Add to that my near-death experience in
January, and I’m even more “lucky” to be alive. I don’t look at it as luck
though. I remain firm in my belief that I am indeed a blessed man and am
blessed by my Lord as undeserving as I am. Why ME, though? Why should <i>I</i> be one of the ones to actually make it
through and survive?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I spoke to Tamara recently, the nurse that found me moments
before I would have died back in January. Ironically she is a hospice nurse
now. She has told me of other patients with similar cancers to what I had and
they have since left this life. One gentleman in my Pasco, Washington, seminar
had a mother pass not too long ago from squamous cell carcinoma of the tongue. Same
cancer, but now she is gone. So why me? Why should I be spared while so many
others lose the battle with this vicious,
hateful disease? </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As I sat at breakfast with Sara and we talked about the past
year, I remembered the man I had met years ago at Memorial Sloan-Kettering
Hospital in New York City. He’s the man that I have written about that had
throat cancer and I met him on rounds during my last day of training. When the
nurse asked him how he was doing, he paused and took what seemed like an
eternity to gather his ability to swallow. I have since felt that helpless
sensation during the worst of my cancer treatment. It is scary. Seems like a
simple thing, swallowing. But when the radiation has burned your body both
inside and out and the tissues feel like razor blades are cutting you when
swallowing, the act itself is a bit of an effort. When that man finally was
able to eventually swallow and answer the question, the words he spoke changed
my life. He simply answered…</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“I am blessed.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">That is all he uttered. Just, “I am blessed. He spoke the words with peace and a gentle
smile on is face. At that moment he didn’t “have cancer.” Not in his actions
anyways – nor in his words. The gentle-spirited man had the gift of peace with
a “little bit of cancer on the side.”
That moment changed me and planted a seed that would germinate until it was my turn to deal with cancer. So today when I look back and
ask, “Why me? Why was I spared?” I only have one response that could ever make
sense in my heart:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>I am blessed.</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">These past few months have been a whirlwind for me. After
dealing with the financial devastation that came with the costs of cancer
treatment combined with an inability to earn an income, I set into motion a
work schedule for this fall that was, for a lack of a better term, “ambitious.”
Besides the two 1-day business classes I presented in June and July, I
scheduled <i><u>ten</u></i> 2-day <i>Secrets of Deep Tissue</i> seminars
throughout the country. In just 13-weeks, I taught in Honolulu, Atlanta,
Minneapolis, Chicago, Sequim, Pasco, Bellingham, Kent, Fort Worth and
Portland. Maybe “ambitious” isn’t the
right word… “foolish”, perhaps? In an effort to make up for lost time, I ran my
new immune system a bit ragged, but I survived. It’s amazing what you can do
when you have both the motivation of needing to pay the bills combined with a
lot of people praying for you. Thank you to those who have been praying for me.
It means the world to me. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I would be remiss if I did not also thank my intrepid lead
assistant, Charity Lisherness, for carrying the largest burden of helping me
during most of my seminars. Thank you also to Jessica Purvis and Sharon Harris
for assisting as well.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Amidst my crazy schedule, I was asked to be a model for the
Gilda’s Club Surviving with Styles fundraising luncheon in Tacoma a few weeks ago. Gene Wilder
started the non-profit group after his wife, Gilda Radner, died from cancer
years ago. Gilda’s Club is an amazing support for families of those fighting
cancer as well as the patient’s themselves. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The models for the event were all fellow cancer survivors
and it was an amazing experience. The most touching were the children who were
so strong and such an inspiration, several having had to face multiple battles
with cancer. The directors of the event, contacted me a few weeks prior to the
event and asked me to be the main speaker, giving the “keynote” address and ask
those in attendance to make a contribution toward the cause. I asked who they
had give <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUw7G4neuJ__TVyZjTQGVpUDDvRq0EvoU0vGItKwOjn_UY277MbItyNWlb0mfiAvusKj10kd72EcQdb6BzaaLEiYZQQF9ypApYUf6BFUlPWxQdIQ4_aEOX_rCJ2TamUDlMTeJwwv2UQXU/s1600/DSC_6401.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUw7G4neuJ__TVyZjTQGVpUDDvRq0EvoU0vGItKwOjn_UY277MbItyNWlb0mfiAvusKj10kd72EcQdb6BzaaLEiYZQQF9ypApYUf6BFUlPWxQdIQ4_aEOX_rCJ2TamUDlMTeJwwv2UQXU/s1600/DSC_6401.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Robert B. Haase, speaking at the Tacoma Gilda's Club <br />
Surviving with Style fundraising luncheon, November 2014</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
the speech in prior years and the speakers included politicians and
even Cynthia Nixon, the redhead from Sex and the City. No pressure, right? Why
me? Well, I had a unique story to tell.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It’s funny. In the <a href="http://youtu.be/R1BoBzbSMM0" target="_blank">news story on King5/USA Today</a>, the
reporter kept referring to me as a “motivational speaker.” It’s funny because I
never once referred to myself as such, but over and over in the various news
reports and articles, there it was. “Robert Haase, Motivational Speaker.” It
was prophetic in hindsight. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My career has really been all about teaching seminars to
groups of up to 50 healthcare professionals, but when I stood and spoke before
the group of hundreds in attendance, I was at complete peace. I felt in my
element. Not talking about soft tissue injuries or business/marketing topics,
but about my story. I have a feeling that I will be asked more and more to not “motivate”,
per se, but to encourage people. The idea is exciting to me and I can’t wait. I
don’t necessarily desire that possibility as my future “career”, but an
opportunity to bless people and encourage those who are facing the unthinkable.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I’m now taking a bit of a “break” until I return to teaching
in February. A break for me means I’m not teaching, but I will be producing and
editing two video projects from home in the coming weeks.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As I enter this Christmas season, I continue to realize how
blessed I am. I have healthy parents, Bob and Violet Haase, both in their 80’s,
three amazing daughters, Ashley, Sara and Holly, two awesome sisters, Linda and
Lisa and I have great friends. I have a voice that continues to improve allowing
me to speak for a living and I remain cancer-free I
truly am a blessed man. Truly. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Thank you all for your prayers and support as I move into
the future. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #0000ee;">Very Truly Yours</span>,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.roberthaase.com/Robert.B.Haase/Welcome.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Robert B. Haase</span></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A Blessed Man</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="mailto:bob.haase@gmail.com" target="_blank">email me </a></span></span></div>
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-63211103323928054332014-10-03T16:52:00.001-07:002014-12-16T13:42:49.276-08:00One Year Ago a Today<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: medium;">Today marks the one-year anniversary of having 1/2 half of my tongue removed and being told for the 11th time that I was "cancer free" (twice they couldn't get it all.) I have endured more than I could have imagined in the past 12-months, but rather than remember the hard parts, I want to thank all of those who stood by me during my darkest hours. Friends were made and friends were lost during the past year. So many friends came to spend time with me and I can't tell you how much it meant and how much it helped, even when the medications made me fall asleep as you were talking to me. I love my parents and my daughters dearly and am blessed by them so very much. <a href="https://m.facebook.com/ashleyhaase?__tn__=%2As" style="cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">Ashley</a>, <a href="https://m.facebook.com/sara.haase.58?__tn__=%2As" style="cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">Sara</a>, <a href="https://m.facebook.com/holly.haase?__tn__=%2As" style="cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">Holly</a>, <a href="https://m.facebook.com/robertviolet.haase?__tn__=%2As" style="cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">Robert-Violet Haase</a>, and my sisters <a href="https://m.facebook.com/linda.brewer.522?__tn__=%2As" style="cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">Linda</a> and Lisa were all put through so much heart-ache and worry, but they were there for me when I needed them and I cannot thank them enough. I can't thank all of my friends individually because I would likely miss a few, but you know who you are and I will never forget your love, compassion and generosity. All I can say is thank you from the depths of my heart. I remain a Blessed Man.</span></span></div>
Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-53973708700875348862014-09-13T20:39:00.000-07:002016-05-03T16:57:11.401-07:00My Cancer Journey<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It has been a while since I last wrote. So much has been happening and I am excited to say that I have been able to return to doing what I love. In the last few weeks, I've been teaching in Honolulu, HI, Billings, MT, Atlanta, GA, Minneapolis, MN and next weekend I will be in Chicago, IL. I've also been actively marketing the new movie called Broken, a faith-based film that is action-packed and full of depth and intrigue. This film is written by my childhood friend, Mark Cramer, and I am proud to be involved in the project.</span></span><br>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Many of you have asked me to tell my story, putting my experience into words. Although I have written here about individual instances along my journey, I haven't written about my story from the beginning. As I prepared to speak at Neighborhood Christian Center a few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to put my story in a written narrative format. It is written from my heart and I want to share it with you now.</span></span><br>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sincerely,</span></span><br>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Robert B. Haase</span></span><br>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A Blessed Man</span></span>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">My Story</span></span></h1>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I remember sitting in my office at my desk, alone, on the
morning of September 30<sup>th</sup>, 2008. My doctor called to give me the
news. I had cancer. It was almost a relief in a strange way. I had had pain in
my tongue for the past two years and I had biopsy after biopsy and each time
the doctors would say the same thing. “Good news, you don’t have cancer.” </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">In early September, in a voice that was a bit more stern
than it should have been, I said to my doctor in frustration, “You know, doc, I’m
also not pregnant. My insurance is paying a lot of money to find out what I
have, not what I don’t have. Please get someone on this that can give me an
answer.” And that’s exactly what he did.
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It was the Albert Einstein College of Medicine that gave my
doctor the news. “Your patient has Squamous Cell Carcinoma.” </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I was actually relieved in a way. There was an answer to why
I was in pain. It still made no sense, whatsoever though. I wasn’t a smoker.
Didn’t chew tobacco. Didn’t have the Human Papillomavirus (HPV.) It just was
what it was. I drew the “C” card.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Truth be told, I was wondering if my name was spelled wrong
by that point. Instead of “BOB”, it
should have been “JOB” from the story in the Old Testament. Not that I went
through anywhere near what he did, but I was feeling a test of my resolve to
love God and cling to Him versus curse Him and die. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A few years before, in 2004 I lost the love of my life, my
girl’s mother, due to a crumbling marriage. I was impatient with her and did
not deal well with her reaction to several life events. Rather than putting my
needs aside and showing unconditional love, I was selfish and responded poorly,
ultimately resulting in our divorce. I
remarried immediately in 2005 to someone that I really shouldn’t have, for a
number of reasons. I suppose what I got what was ultimately the result of my
own actions when my second wife left in 2008 with her new boyfriend. Her leaving… and then adding another man into
the equation was just more salt in the wounds that had been laying bare in my
heart. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Later that same year, the economy started to falter as you
recall. The vocational school that I had spent a million dollars advertising
and building from scratch into the nation’s only hospital-based myotherapy
& massage program had to close its doors. Our students were mostly funded
by student loans. Loans that had previously seen 85% approval rates drop
steadily until every student loan was rejected. Our $50,000.00 monthly overhead
drained our reserves quickly. The good news is that we were able to get our
students graduated before we shut the school down. Over 300 massage schools
closed that year for the same reason. Since I co-signed for every lease and
loan, I had to declare both personal and corporate bankruptcy. First I lost my
wife, then I lost my business, having to let my employees go in a horrible
economy. Then I lost my house, then my BMW.
Then the call on September 30<sup>th</sup> that I had cancer. It was crashing
wave after crashing wave, knocking me down each time before having a chance to
get my footing for the next wave. The last straw was the painful kidney stone that
came the week after my divorce was finalized. That year left me a bit bruised
and battered. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">In the years that followed, I had surgery after surgery. Each
time the cancer would be cut out and the doctor would say, “Good news, you’re
cancer free!” Then, every 6-12 months, the cancer would return to the same spot
on the underside of my left tongue. It would be cut out again, and I’d be
cancer free. I had a total of ten surgeries until the fall of 2013. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">In August of 2013 the pain returned, but this time it was
different. It was more severe and for the first time, there was no sign of it
on the surface. It was much deeper. Dr. Myers, my ENT, could feel what I felt.
There was a palpable mass deep inside my tongue. On September 4,<sup> </sup>2013
I went into surgery with Dr. Myers at St. Peter’s Hospital. When I woke up out
of the haze of anesthesia, he told me that he got half of the tumor, but it was
wrapped around the nerve that made my tongue movement possible. What was left
was only ½ the size of a Tylenol tablet and I needed another surgery, but he wanted
someone even more qualified to do it. I needed to see the best in the country
for the type of cancer I had and that surgeon happened to be at Virginia Mason
Hospital in Seattle. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">After a consultation that next week, I was scheduled for a
September 30<sup>th </sup>surgery. That was almost a month away. “Perfect!”, I
thought. I could use that month to take my youngest daughter, Holly, on her
graduation trip to Mexico!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What I didn’t realize is that during those 26 days, the
cancer went from the size of half a Tylenol to the size of a Oreo cookie. My
new surgeon told me when I woke up that what I was dealing with was an
extremely aggressive cancer and he needed to go back in with a more aggressive
response to get the rest. The procedure was too complex and he needed his team
to help him on October 3<sup>rd</sup>. “The hard news”, he said, “is that we
are needing to take the left half of your tongue, dividing it down the middle.
We will use your left forearm tissue to build up the tongue mass, but the right
side will have to move the arm tissue around. You should be able to communicate
<i>eventually</i>.” I was really glad at
that moment that I didn’t have a tattoo on my left forearm. Can you imagine
what my tongue would look like? But more importantly, I was a public speaker. I
needed my tongue. How was a public speaker supposed to speak with any sort of
comprehensible articulation with only half of a tongue, especially half a
tongue that had to work dragging the other lifeless half around?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Ever felt like you were in a Twilight Zone episode? He
basically told me that if I wanted to live, I had to sacrifice half of my
tongue. The cancer was aggressive and moving quickly. Time was not on my side
and waiting wasn’t an option. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I don’t know what the expression on my face looked like, but
my heart sank. I was numb, trying to comprehend what he was telling me. It was
all too surreal. I have always been an “up” person, glass half full and could always
see the good in everything. I KNEW that God has a plan for my life, but I was a
public speaker. HOW could THIS be part of His plan?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The surgery went as planned. Dr. Bayles and his team removed
the left half of my tongue. Then they removed a large swath of tissue on my
left forearm, all the way down to my arm tendons, folded that tissue over and
sewed it onto what remained of the right side of my tongue. Next, tissue was
removed from my left thigh with the equivalent of a “medical cheese slicer”,
using the skin to cover the hole in my arm. The forearm was then stapled up. It
was intense and looked freakish, but the team wasn’t done. Next they cut the
left side of my neck open and removed 20 lymph nodes in all. One had burst open
like a “squished blueberry” and team feared the cancer had escaped into my
lymph system. Instead of surgery and 30 grueling treatments of radiation, they also
needed to give me chemotherapy in high doses as well. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My radiation oncologist had warned me about what was ahead
for me. “I wouldn’t do this to my worst enemy… the treatment protocol that you
need is the worst and most painful that I can give. I’m sorry.” She was right. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Five days a week for 6-weeks I had session after session of
radiation, each time giving me a sunburn of sorts, re-burning the same area each
time. The skin got more and more red, resulting eventually in 2<sup>nd</sup>
degree burns and permanent scaring and darkening of the skin. Chemotherapy was
tolerable at first, but eventually led to constant, daily vomiting. The
vomiting went on for weeks after chemo was over and at the worst of it, I had
dropped from 215lbs to just under 150lbs. Today, I’m a healthy 165. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The good news is that cancer cured my weight problem… I
can’t taste food for the most part and more importantly, can’t eat much because
the eating process tires me out and the space for food to get down my throat is
severely reduced in size. Also, due to the weight loss, my Type II diabetes was
cured. My cholesterol levels? Now normal. Blood pressure? Normal! </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Between 2008 and 2013 I had lost a business that owned me. I
lost a house that was worth half of what I bought it for. I lost a car that was
worth half of what I owed on it. It’s like that verse came alive, Romans 8:28
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,
who have been called according to his purpose.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“ALL THINGS”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">With the cancer diagnosis, I have heard things that people
have said to me that are hurtful and untrue… things like, “You must have cancer
because there is sin in your life…” or, “There is cancer in your tongue because
there is something that you aren’t confessing…” Even, “There is someone you
haven’t forgiven… you need to forgive. You have cancer because of your
unforgiving heart.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You know, as with the story of Job, things sometimes just
happen. Matthew 5:45, “He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and
sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Not everything that happens is a punishment, but everything
is a chance to draw you closer to God. He allows all the “stuff” and uses it
for good… </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">People say, “God won’t give you anything more than you can
handle.” Sorry. The Bible doesn’t say that. What it does say is that we won’t
be given any more <i>temptation</i> than we
can handle. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “God is faithful; he will not let you be
tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also
provide a way out so that you can endure it.”
</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The truth is, God <i>will</i>
allow things to happen that you can’t necessarily handle on your own. But you
can through Christ. Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who
strengthens me.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I KNEW in my heart that if God was going to allow my tongue
to be taken that He must have another plan for my life. A plan that I couldn’t
have envisioned. I had two choices. I could either be bitter and angry that
things didn’t turn out the way that I wanted, or I could be full of hope,
excitement and joy that there was a better, more amazing future that I could
not yet fathom. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,”
declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you
hope and a future.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You’re thinking, but “He did take something from you and you
were harmed”, right?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I have news for you. I have not been harmed. Let me explain…</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When I became a Christian, I was <i>healed</i>… my heart, mind, soul and spirit. But as for the body? God
intended it to carry our spirits around as vehicles while we walk this earth,
but I have some sad news… our bodies are dying a little every day, and worse
yet, life is a death sentence. It comes with a guaranteed prognosis. You are
going to die. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We are given a finite time on this earth, and according to
the Bible, we aren’t designed to last past 120 anymore. We all die of
something. If the reasoning that disease is because of something you did or
“sin in your life”, then that means we all end our life because of a sin we
have committed or as punishment for a past behavior. That’s not true though.
Our body gives up from old age because of our cell’s inability to continue
replicating in a healthy way. We suffer from physical decay, malfunctions…
cancer… Death is a part of life. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I am not really worried any longer about dying. I am worried
more about <i>not living</i> while I’m still
yet alive.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Stop spending all of your time, energy and resources trying
to keep this body perfect and beautiful and start spending your time blessing
others. It isn’t about how you will eventually die, but how you will spend the
time you have living. I have ½ of a tongue and only one working vocal cord. And
I chose to use those to encourage you. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You know, despite all that might be going wrong in your
life, you are still blessed. The smallest of things can be blessings, but it is
hard to see those things when we let something block our vision. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Take my small iPhone for example. If I hold it in front of
my eyes, it is huge, blocking my view of a majority of all that is around me.
But if I hold the phone at arm’s length, it blocks only a tiny percentage of
what is around me. In other words, the more we concentrate, focus on and hold
close what is bothering us, but more it chokes out the amazing blessings that
we currently have. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I’ve been told I’m a motivational speaker, but motivation is
finding a <i>reason</i> to do something, a
carrot dangled in front of you, a reason to move forward. If I had to choose my
reasons for living and persevering through the tough times, I suppose those
reasons would mostly be encompassed around my family and my three amazing daughters.
But I would rather be an Encouragement or Inspirational Speaker. The cowardly
lion asked for courage, not motivation, right? It takes courage to face what
seems impossible. I want you to know that you can truly get through whatever
life throws at you. As for me, I have
the peace that comes with knowing <i>I can do
ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.</i></span></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I pray that you desire God’s will more than your own too. I’ve
been learning that it really is so much better and there are better outcomes
when I seek His will versus my own. It isn’t necessarily easy. I mean, look at
Christ, He prayed to his Father saying <i>PLEASE
take this away from me</i>, not wanting to suffer the horror of what he was
about to endure for you, but He knew the Master’s plan was so very worth it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">One summer, years ago, I was carrying a heavy box in my
garage. As I turned around, the latter that was next a stack of heavy boxes
fell towards me and struck me in the back with the heavy boxes crashing against
it, increasing the weight and forcing the metal ladder to tear into my flesh.
As I took a step away from the ladder, its sharp metal dragged down, tearing
more deeply into the tissue. The only thing I could do was drop the heavy box
and then turn to face the ladder. That’s kind of like life. Sometimes you need
to drop what you are holding onto and face the problem head-on or it will just
dig deeper, drawing more scars, pain and torment. Let go, face it and trust
that God will give you the courage and strength to get through what is coming
against you.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You know, my walk with Christ has become really simplified
through this experience, but let me explain by first backing up a bit. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I got into an deep discussion with someone who was stifled
in her Christian experience because she’s trying to be “good enough”… While there are different types of sin, all
sins have consequences in the day-to-day reality of your life. What’s worse is,
Matthew 5:28 basically says that that <i>if
you’ve done it in your heart, you’ve done i</i>t… you are seriously screwed. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">In the Old Testament, you would bring your lamb to the high
priest for sacrifice, using the blood of the slain lamb to cover your sins. The
high priest would inspect the lamb first, looking it over for blemishes. If it
was perfect, it would be sacrificed to atone for your sins. What he didn’t say
was, <i>“Nice lamb, what else have you done
for me?”</i> Jesus was the ultimate
sacrifice and his blood washes your sins, past, present and future. All you
have to do is accept His gift of salvation, asking Him for forgiveness and His
salvation that comes with it. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">His work at the cross was enough. If it wasn’t, He wasted
His time. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When the Pharisees asked Jesus what the greatest law was in
Matthew 22:34-40, Jesus said the first was loving God with all of your heart,
soul and mind and the second was loving your neighbor. He didn’t say, “Don’t
steal… don’t kill, or don’t eat the bacon…” Just “love God and love each
other.” Simple stuff.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">That said, being “saved” and living a pleasing life to God
are two completely different things. One is an insurance policy. The other is
experiencing the blessings that come from not grieving God. I mean, if you have
a habit of robbing banks, your life is going to have a downside unless you
really enjoy prison life. The law was written for our own good. Not being
perfect isn’t going to end in you losing your salvation, but it will put a
damper on the joy you could have experienced while living out your days on this
planet.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">But I digress… you wanted to hear about my cancer story. The
truth is, cancer was frightening, but not nearly as terrifying as what happened
on January 11th of this year, 2014.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">If you know me, you know I love toys. Electronic toys to be
specific. Gadgets of all kinds. I built my first computer in 1993. I look
forward to each Apple announcement and each Microsoft, Samsung and Tesla
product unveiling. I subscribe to Wired magazine and never miss an issue of
Popular Mechanics. I’m a technology guy. Anyways… I’ve watched the news for
years and every January have been glued to the newscasts about the Consumer
Electronics Show in Las Vegas and salivated about what was new in technology
and what was coming out soon. Each year it was more and more amazing to see. So
after years of wanting to go, this past January I took my best friend with me
to Vegas to experience the show in person. Sure, it was only 3-weeks after
finishing chemotherapy & radiation and sure, and I was still feeding myself
through a stomach tube with oversized syringes… I could handle a trip to Vegas
travelling in a confined airplane and hanging around 300,000 disease-carrying
people from around the world while I had no white blood cells to fight off
disease, right? No worries. Right? Well,
as it turns out, the answer was “no”, not so much. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">After spending 3-days in Las Vegas seeing every new gadget
and piece of technology, I returned in the wee hours of the morning on Friday,
December 10<sup>th</sup>. Later that morning, I got up, spent the day with a
few friends, went to bed Friday night and never woke up on Saturday. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">On Saturday morning, Tamara, a close friend of mine, was
trying to contact me to see how I was feeling after my trip. She knew I was
trying to decrease my medications and, as a registered nurse, she was concerned
when I did not respond to her emails, texts or voice mails from that morning.
She knows my iPhone is nearly always close by and had an uneasy feeling when I
was not responding. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As time passed and I still was not responding, Tamera’s gut
told her something was wrong and she contacted Brenda, my landlord, begging her
to enter my town home to make sure I was okay. Brenda reluctantly agreed and
met Tamara at my unit. Entering first,
Brenda yelled out, "Landlord... Robert, are you here?" There was no
response. Tamara peaked into the garage on the ground floor and saw my car in
the garage. They knew I must be home. Still calling out, there was no response
from me. As they entered my master bedroom on the 3rd floor, they found me
under the covers in a position described as "decerebrate posturing."
I was unresponsive. Tamara was even more concerned from my posture as it apparently
most often indicates severe, irreversible brain damage. My upper body and head was arched back and I
was rigid as I laid on my left side. My legs were fully extended with feet and
toes pointed down. My arms were curled and rotated away from my body. It wasn’t
good. The medics were on their way.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As they waited for the medics, Tamara tried to move my legs
and arms out of their rigid state, but she could not. With persistence, she was able to straighten
my torso and arms into neutral position, but as soon as she would let go, my
rigid posture and positioning returned to how they found me.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When the medics arrived, more tests began... my pupils were
pinpoints and nonreactive to light. I was administered a dose of Narcan to
reverse the potential effects of my prescription narcotics. My pupils still did
not change making them believe that I truly had a stroke, which can lead to the
decerebrate posturing I was holding.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My oxygen saturation was not registering for the EMT's pulse
oximeter, which cannot read below 50%. Because
I was found with my head covered and deeply down under my blankets, they
believed I had been re-breathing my own CO2 for some time. Not good. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I was hot and pale as well. My first temperature reading was
103.5 degrees, but I didn't sweat until I was uncovered and they had given me
numerous painful sternal rubs. Worse yet, I wasn't noticeably breathing
initially, but once I started, my breaths were almost described as
"agonal" or "dying breaths", but not quite.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">With my tongue and throat having gone through surgery and
radiation treatment, the medics had a difficult time both intubating me forcing
the tubing into a tiny space, causing more damage to a surgical site that was
already compromised. Locating a vein to start an IV took some time as well
thanks to the scar tissue from so many blood tests and the effects of
chemotherapy. Thankfully, they eventually got a vein and rushed me to the emergency
room at St. Peter’s Hospital.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Test after test was performed throughout the day on Saturday
and the official answer as to what I had experienced was a combination of
septic shock, pneumonia and respiratory failure. Any one of those three could
have resulted in my death, especially in my weakened state from the cancer
treatment. Amazingly, when I finally woke up, there were no signs of brain
damage.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I truly believe that the prayers of Tamara and Brenda at the
scene in addition to those of my family, friends and Facebook friend's saved my
life. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Why Would a Loving God Allow This?</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When horrible things happen People often get angry and ask,
“Why would a ‘Loving God’ allow this to happen?” They get furious that God
doesn’t keep “bad” from happening in this world. The truth is, it was my choice
to go to Vegas with a compromised immune system put me into an unsafe situation.
We are all given free will and the results of our free will initiates chains of
events, ripple effects resulting in negative consequences and outcomes. Even
our weather patterns can be affected by our personal choices, or example. When
we pollute our water, it can drain into the ocean and that can affect sea life
which we ultimately eat which can lead to our own disease… yet we blame God. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You know that Carrie Underwood song, "Jesus Take the
Wheel”? Well, if we were ever to really want to keep bad things from happening
on this earth, that is exactly what people are asking for when they get angry
at God. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Let’s play this through. Say you are craving a greasy,
artery-clogging Triple Whopper and you get into your car… you are driving down the
road towards Burger King. If you want
God to keep “bad” from happening, like that future heart attack you are working
towards, what you are asking for is for God to literally reach down, take the
wheel, and drive you to the nearest vegan restaurant. Right? Or maybe you’ve
made a decision to step out on your spouse… you’re angry about not getting what
you deserve in your marriage and rather than work it out, you lose patience and
want to rendezvous with that coworker you have been flirting with. Again, how
would you feel if God should reach down and take the wheel from you, forcing
you to drive to a marriage counselor’s office instead? </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What happens in this world is really all just the result of
our humanity enjoying the freedoms of doing what we want, a series of chain
reactions resulting in outcomes that are good and bad. And unexpected illness
is just the body in its process of returning to the grave. We are each born, and we will each die. What
we do in the time between the two is a lifetime of choices. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What if you knew that you would go to bed a month from now
and would never wake up? What would you do with the time you have remaining
until then? What would you do differently today? What is your purpose? What
choices will you make?</span></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Bitter or Better?</b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I have been asked if I have grown “better rather than
bitter” through all of this, and if I am better, what are the keys to pulling
that off. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">In general, I have never been a person that gets bitter, and
the few times that I have become bitter about something, the emotional toxins
that came from it burned so badly that I had to make the decision to release it
fully and let it go. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Bible says that if we can’t forgive each other, then God
can’t forgive us. But what do you do when the one that offends you IS God? For
me, the very thought of being angry with God through all of this, through <i>any</i> of this, has never made sense. I
mentioned that life is a death sentence and our bodies are designed to live for
a finite period of time. Some of us will die of heart disease, others through
an accident, others from cancer. Every one of you has cancer cells in your
body, but your body does its job defending you, eradicating those cells. As for
the cancer that attacked me, my body simply failed to do that. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">If 2 out of 5 of us will inevitably get cancer, being angry
or bitter at God would ultimately mean I was angry that someone else didn’t
have cancer instead of me. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">That thought doesn’t compute. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">If Christ can be tortured for me to have eternal life, then
dealing with a little cancer and enduring the cruelty of chemotherapy and
radiation for the sake of a friend… a neighbor… even a stranger, is nothing. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I have seen too many people in my lifetime that hold onto
bitterness and I cannot stand to be around them because of their negativity. I
didn’t want to be “that guy.” I knew that how I responded to my battle was a more
important witness that would say a lot more about me than just empty words and
rhetoric.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So how do you do it? How do you not face the unfaceable and
not become bitter? It has been said in many different ways that holding on to
bitterness and resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill
someone else. Simply put, spending time being bitter is a waste of time. We end
up consuming our finite time being angry when we could have used that time to
live life. A life of blessing and blessing others. This life is short and
spending it angry is really kind of foolish.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A woman I know valued time more than anything in her
marriage to her husband. Time together was gold. It was the way she felt loved.
When her husband started a new business to support the family, he ended up
working long hours, week after week. With each week that passed, the woman grew
more and more angry… bitterness took root. She was focused on his being gone
and was so consumed by it that when he was home, all she would do was spend
their precious time together telling him how upset she was that he hadn’t been
there. Ironic, isn’t it? The very time she was craving was right there… but she
could only focus on her anger and angrily talk relentlessly about the time that
he had been gone. All of the time he was home was filled with bitterness and
lecture about how he needed to be home more. The time he was able to offer his
wife was wasted, every moment filled with the wife’s wrath and words of
bitterness.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Remember the mobile phone analogy? How holding the phone at
the bridge of our noses blocks everything else that could have been in our
view? The more you focus on what angers you, or the more you focus on the
challenge before you, the more you allow your troubles to become the most
important thing in your life. You give that life challenge the power to block
every good thing in your life. When that happens, we often end up pushing away
those who care or want to bless us.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Thoughts on Prayer</b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This entire chain of events has had a specific impact on my
“prayer life”… or more specifically, how
I talk to God. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I want to encourage you to stop thinking about prayer as an
item on your to-do list. Sure, setting aside time in the morning for prayer and
reading the Bible or a devotional book with scriptures is great, but prayer and
“time with God” has become more than that for me. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Paul says to “pray without ceasing.” What does that mean?
How do you place your lunch order at Happy Teriyaki when you are supposed to be
praying at the same time if you are to “pray without ceasing”? What the Apostle
Paul meant when he wrote that to the Thessalonians was more about keeping a
constant communication line open with God. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Do you remember the days of dial-up connection to the Internet?
If you wanted to get your computer “online”, you would have to launch a program
that would tell your computer to connect. The computer would use your home’s
“landline” to place a phone call. Then you would hear a bunch of beeps and
bong-bong noises followed by a screech and white noise. Then you would be
connected briefly until you got kicked off by a bad modem or from some other
software glitch. Eventually we upgraded to the new technologies of broadband
and DSL… and the constant connection that came with those technologies. No more
having to “dial-up” and wait. Today, my prayers are more like a broadband
connection with God listening to my ongoing chatter, my thoughts… God knows
your prayers before you even pray them. What He wants is to have a relationship
with you that is free of judgment and He just wants to love on you when He
hears your pains… and hurts… Your communication doesn’t have to sound like
“prayer”… just a conversation. If you can quit the old habit of starting prayers
with “Dear Heavenly Father” and stop ending your prayers with an “amen”… it
becomes more like a never-ending texting conversation with that person you care
about… no “amen’s”… no goodbyes. Each check-in with God can simply start with…
“I was thinking” or “and…”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Remember not to hog the conversation. Taking time to just
listen to what God might be trying to say to you. That “still small voice.”
Take time to be quiet and ponder the many little things God has blessed you
with… and then listen some more. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Believing in What You Cannot See & Surviving the Flames</b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It might sound strange, but I am not a Christian because of
faith. I am a Christian because it makes logical sense and there is nothing
that science throws at me that detracts from the Word of God or Who God is. I
believe because of the overwhelming proof that is all around me. The very hands
I use in my profession are proof to me of a “handmade” design… Most
importantly, I don’t need to “feel” God’s presence to know He is there. I can’t
see the wind, but I can see what it does. The wind might not be blowing, but
because I am breathing, I know the air is there. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I spend a great deal of time in planes because of my work
and my travel habit. A month ago I was in Nashville. A couple of weeks ago I
was in Hawaii and then Montana and in two days I am off to Atlanta. If you
don’t fly much, you may not have experienced one of my very favorite things… On
the darkest, rainiest and most dismal of days, I love to fly because when the
plane takes off and begins to climb through the clouds, I KNOW there will be
blue sky and sunshine above the blankets of fluffy clouds below. Even though I
cannot see the sun on a stormy day, I know it is there just like the fact that I
cannot see God, but I know He is there too. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">People have said to me, “Aren’t you proud of what you’ve
done? What you’ve survived and what you have come through?” The answer is always, “no.” It was the
situation that required me to move. I didn’t have a choice. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Let’s say you are in a house that is quickly engulfed in
flames… fire is all around you so you instinctively run as fast as you can
through the flames, right down the hall and out the front door. If someone said they were proud of you for
running, that wouldn’t compute, right?
For them to be proud of you for running out of a burning house doesn’t
make sense. You <i>have</i> to go through it
because giving up isn’t an option. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When you go through something as frightening as what I have
gone though, at some point the idea will pass through your mind about ending it
all. Regardless of your thoughts on suicide, the thoughts will come and you
will have to have a heart to heart with yourself on the subject. Even if you
haven’t yet faced something like this, I know that some of you have already
contemplated ending your pain, if only briefly. You've thought, "If I
ended my life, it's no big deal... and I wouldn't feel what I'm feeling
now." That is a load of crap. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What I want you to know is that you are more important to
people on this planet than you yet realize and leaving us behind would hurt
others because of your absence. You have touched someone's life already and
your continued presence on this planet allows you to continue to make a
difference in touching the lives of others.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I remember over the years many instances people being
affected by the smallest of things that I have done or said and I had no clue.
To me, those things were inconsequential. To the person I was affecting? Life
changing.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When I was in massage school student back in 1991 and had
the opportunity to massage a friend of a friend. For the sake of anonymity,
I’ll refer to him as Kai. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Kai was a quiet man and gentle in his mannerisms. He was a
little introverted, even though he dressed well, and looking people in the eyes
didn’t seem to come easy for him. When
Kai arrived for his massage that first time with his boyfriend, who I'll refer
to as Brody. Brody was loud and obnoxious in how he carried himself. He seemed
to control Kai with a look or a gesture. Thankfully Brody and Kai scheduled massages at
different times, allowing Kai the opportunity to truly relax.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When I asked Kai what kind of massage he was hopping for, he
simply said, "I just need to relax." I said, "Okay. I'm going to
go wash my hands and let you undress to your level of comfort and get on the
table under the sheet."</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When I returned, I proceeded to give Kai a relaxing massage,
barely saying a word to him, only checking in to see if a certain technique was
too much pressure or to ask him to change his position. At the end of the
massage, Kai simply said, "Thank you. So, next week... can we come on the
same day and time?" I said, "That works. See you then." Kai and
Brody’s weekly massage continued for months.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As time went on, Kai began talking more during his massages,
opening up and letting me hear about his life, until one night Kai said,
"I need to tell you something." </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"What's that, Kai?" I asked.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"You saved my life", he said in a soft voice, his
eyes directed down at the floor.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"How did I do that?" I said with my eyebrows
raised. Kai’s statement caught me off-guard.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Kai then raised his head and looked me in the eyes. Calmly
he said, "Remember the first massage you ever gave me? Well, that week I
had made the decision to kill myself. I couldn't take life anymore. But, you
were the first man that ever touched me that didn't want to rape, molest or
hurt me. You just cared and wanted nothing in return. You gave me hope and I
felt safe. Thank you for that."</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Wow. I had only been doing my job, fulfilling my massage
hours for school and, oh by the way, I saved a life in the process. I was
needed. I made a difference. Just like you… You are needed and you are making a
difference, even when you think you are not.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">That said, getting through the darkest of times will require
you to take inventory of the times in your life when you thought it couldn’t
get any worse and later you realized a positive outcome happened from your
experience. Hold on to those moments. Be thankful. Look for the blessings that
you have in your life. Regardless of what you may be going through right now,
hold on and be thankful. Don’t let your current situation take a position up
close, blocking the amazing blessings you’ve had and do have, even the smallest
of things. You know, when <i>you</i> put ice
cream in your mouth, you taste an explosion of flavor… but <i>I </i>can’t. You see, what I don’t have are functioning taste buds, but
what I do have includes family and friends who love me and daughters who bless
me. Don’t waste time thinking about the
things you don’t have, because you still have air to breathe. You woke up on
the right side of the lawn today… giving you another day to be a blessing.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>When Foundations are Temporary</b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We take so much for granted in life. Some of you have never
really known significant loss. Sure, you may have lost a job, but eventually
you ended up with another one. Perhaps you’ve been financially blessed with a
career and assets that give you the comfort of not worrying about life. But if
a situation like the story of Job were to happen to you, what would you do?
What would you hold close and never let go of?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My girl’s mother has a saying that I try to live by… “It’s
all gonna burn!” and it’s true. The “stuff” you hold dear, your career, your
home, your car, your finances… those things can easily be gone one day. The
same goes for your health. And mine.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Tonight you will probably go to bed relatively healthy, but
what if something unexpected happens tomorrow and you go end your day with a
body you don’t recognize? What about your family and friends? We take for
granted that they will be there like they always have been. But what happens if
an accident or illness suddenly takes them away from you, their loving hugs and
laughter gone? What do you do when the ground you take for granted breaks free,
sending you into an emotional freefall, dropping you into an abyss of loss?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Putting your faith in yourself and the things you have can
be like building your house on the sand at the beach… the waves will inevitably
come and cut away at the foundation of what you know to be your reality. For
me, knowing that I am loved, eternally blessed and the fact that there is no
situation where God won’t hold my hand through it all gives me the courage to
make it through. And even when it comes time for me to move on from this life,
my confidence stands firm. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Attitude is a Choice</b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I came to understand the power of words when I was just a
boy. While I was still young, my father was a lieutenant in the United States
Navy and as a supply officer, he would go out to sea for six-months at a time, leaving
me, my mother and my sisters behind. His deployments took place in the days
before Skype, email and Tivo. That means that Dad did not have much to occupy
his free time except spend time with his fellow crewmembers and read books. Dad
had begun his interest in hypnosis while he was a college student but he
perfected his skills with continued study while at sea. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My father read book after book about hypnosis and the
amazing power of suggestion. He practiced the techniques on fellow students at
St. Martin’s College and eventually his fellow shipmates after graduating from
Officer Candidate School and entering the Navy. Eventually Dad became
exceptional with his skills of hypnotic suggestion. As a matter of fact, he became so good that
he was asked to entertain Navy personnel while at sea. The stories of Dad's
performances have reached the stuff of legends. What he was able to achieve with his words
alone was remarkable.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Growing up, Dad would tell me to be careful with what I
spoke aloud as there was power in every word. He wasn’t talking about quantum
physics and the power of my thought, but actual suggestion to the human brain. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">His words to me have proven true over the years. For
example, I would be willing to wager a bet that there is someone's name that I
could simply mention to you that would give you either a spontaneous headache or
feeling of stress or aggravation as soon as his or her name left my lips. The
name could be of an ex-spouse, business partner, or even a politician. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My point is this…</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>If my words can cause you pain,
my words can also alleviate pain.</i></b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As a medical massage therapist or “myotherapist”, I see
firsthand how my words can affect my clients and patients, for both good and
bad. Specifically, words directly affect the muscles. Why? Because muscles are
controlled by the brain and the brain is affected by what it hears. I can
literally help someone stand straighter just with words of encouragement alone.
Powerful stuff. But our words also direct focus.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">In the lecture portion of my injury treatment seminar,
Secrets of Deep Tissue™, I discuss something called the "Gate
Theory." This theory applies to my current situation directly. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Let's say you been working in the yard, pulling out
blackberry vines next to your home. You are working hard in the warmth of the
summer sun and as the day goes on, you find yourself covered in dirt and sweat.
While working away, listening to music in your headphones, a neighbor approaches
and strikes up a conversation. As he is talking with you, he looks down at your
arm, and says, "Hey, you've cut yourself! You're bleeding!" As you
look down at your arm, sure enough, there is a long scratch that somehow took
place without you noticing from the thorny vines. Amidst the dirt and
shimmering sweat, there is a long trail of blood and in that moment you feel
the pain of the scratch.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Prior to focusing on the injury, your mind was kept busy. It
was feeling the sun on your face and the strain of your muscles working. It was
hearing the music of your favorite band and feeling the sensations of
refreshment from a bottle of cold water. What your mind did <i>not</i> feel was the 4" scratch on your
forearm. Why? Because other sensory input kept your brain busy, drawing
attention away from your arm.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So, how does this apply? When facing the unimaginable, my
focus is controlled by choice. I can use the Gate Theory for my own good. For
me, I needed to stop focusing on the obvious negative impacts of my loss and
subsequent treatment and begin focusing on what was important. I have had
friends say, "Don't be afraid to be 'real', to be 'human'! It's okay to
show weakness!" I agree, but at the same time, when I focus on my pain,
guess what I feel? Pain. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Life is like that. When we focus on the negative situations,
things we cannot control, physical pain, things we don't have, how others have
wronged us, hurts from our past, we feel the emotional scratches from the
blackberry vines of life. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My prayer for you is that you are able to put your focus on
what is important and the many blessings that you DO have and use the
"Gate Theory" for good. Fill your mind and thoughts with that which
is good and positive, the silver linings. Let those things make you smile and
leave no room for that which would rob you of your joy. I will join you in this
exercise and continue to search for my many blessings amongst the increasing
pain.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It says in Philippians 4:8, “…whatever is true, whatever is
noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is
admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Just because you haven’t faced the trials that I have
doesn’t mean that you can’t ready yourself and be equipped to handle whatever
lies ahead. Even if you face wave after
wave of challenges as they pound you emotionally against the rocks, you can have
the tools to get through your own trials when they come. They will come. Would
you like to know my secret of how I got through? Although there were several
tools I had in my toolbox, there was one that I had to use before any of the
other tools would work. Are you ready for my secret of how I got through? </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>I chose to.</i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Your ability to get through anything is a choice. There is
no sense asking God to have your back and carry you through if you don’t want
Him to take your hand to begin with. There will be times when He stands back
and encourages you just like a father giving guidance as his child wobbles on a
bicycle for the first time. There will be times when He steadies your arm or
takes your hand giving you “power assist” up the face of the steepest
mountains. There will be times when He catches you as you fall off a ledge and
times when He just wants you to crawl into His arms, knowing you are loved and
protected. No, you probably won’t necessarily feel those arms, but like the sun
above the clouds, He is there and He has His angels surrounding you as well.
Choosing to let Him get you though is the key. You have to make a choice to get
through and then know He is faithful to see you through.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I remember a story my pastor told years ago when I was a kid
about a man that fell off of a cliff and on the way down he grabbed a root that
was sticking out of rocks. The man hung there precariously, his legs flailing,
trying to get a hold but he couldn’t. He began yelling, “Is anyone up there?
Help!” The voice of God said, “I’m here.
All you have to do is let go of that root and I will catch you.” </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“Seriously?!” the man yelled. “You want me to <i>let go</i>?”
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">God replied with a gentle voice, “Yes, let go and let me
catch you. You have to let go of what you are holding onto so tightly. Let go
and let me…”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The man thought about it for a few moments and then yelled,
“Is there anyone else up there?”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Getting through whatever happens on this journey of life
comes down to a series of choices. You can choose to give up. You can choose to
do it on your own and push away those who love you or even the help of a
stranger, but you still have to choose.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">That same pastor talked about God answering prayer with
another story. You may have heard it, but it has to do with expecting a miracle
and not recognizing it when it is in your face…</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">There was a flood forming around a woman’s home and a state
policeman came and told the woman, “A flood is coming. Come with me now and
I’ll drive you to safety.”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“No”, she said. “God is going to save me.”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As the waters rose a boat came to her as the water was level
with her second story window. “Get in the boat”, said the man… “I’ll take you
to safety.”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“No”, she said. “God is going to save me.”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">She climbed onto her roof as the waters continued to rise
and a helicopter came by with a search and rescue team. They lowered the basket
and a rescuer yelled, “Get in… we will fly you to safety.”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“No”, she said. “God is going to save me.”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The waters continued to rise and the woman eventually drowns
and goes to heaven. As she enters Heaven, she asks God, “Why didn’t you save
me?”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">God replied, “Are you serious? I sent a state policeman, a
boat and a helicopter… what else did you want me to do?”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We pray for God to help us get through the trials of life
and often are so full of pride that we reject the help of those who offer to
help us. My girl’s mother, Debbie, is a tender, gentle woman, but her words of
wisdom can cut to the quick… during this process she told me, “When you deny
someone the ability to bless you, you are robbing them of their blessing.” What am I saying? Make the choice to get into
the stinking basket! I’m not saying that climbing in won’t be difficult or give
you a few scrapes, but you have to make a choice.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens you…
you can get through any trial. The outcome of that trial may not look like what
you think it should look like. Sometimes God takes your pain away by taking you
home allowing you to leave this life and giving you rest. Sometimes He lets you
endure because you have unfinished business to complete on this earth still.
Either way, don’t focus on how you will die… focus on how you will live. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What will you do today to be a blessing to someone else? How
will you use your gifts and talents to make a difference in someone else’s
life? You might give 10% of your income
to God or charity, but I would challenge you to give 10% of your <i>time</i> making a difference in the lives of
others. There is nothing worse than a “humble brag”, so I’ll spare you the
details, but I love using the gifts God has given me to bless others without
telling everyone about it. In other words, don’t post a photo of yourself on
Facebook with the caption, “Look at me selflessly feeding the homeless at the
soup kitchen!” But I will tell you that even when things couldn’t look any
bleaker, you can put your problem at arm’s length as you focus on others and
then put that outstretched arm around others, being a living blessing.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">One final thing that I need to say before letting you go,
and that is this… my hope for you isn’t that you necessarily make a decision
“for” Jesus, but I want you to first make a decision “about” Jesus. There is a
little book that I love by Josh McDowell called “More than a Carpenter” and it
poses the question, “Who is Jesus? Lord, Liar or Lunatic?” Systematically, it
walks through evidence, logic and Jesus’ own words and arrives at one
inevitable conclusion. He was who He said He was. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I was looking for a church years ago and a friend
recommended a certain church in my hometown and I called the pastor up for
coffee so that I could ask him some questions about his church and see if it
would be a good fit for me. Within a very short time, it was apparent that I
was destined to be there for <i>his</i> sake
and not mine. The short of it is that at one point he said, “Well, we don’t
necessarily believe that Jesus is the only way to Heaven…” At that point I
leaned forward and said, “In John 14:6, Jesus was quoted as saying, ‘I am the
way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’
If God is in Heaven, how exactly do you deal with that verse in your
philosophy?” He started to instantly
perspire and with sweat rolling off of his forehead, he looked down and
said, “Uh… we have a hard time with that
verse.” I smiled and said, “I bet you do.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Jesus didn’t deny who He was and we have the choice to
choose Him. He was either The Son of God, a Liar who’s wisdom and words should
be ignored, or he was a Lunatic. If you look at the evidence, it all boils down
to Jesus being THE way. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I hope that my experiences and insights have encouraged you,
helping you see that you can and will get through whatever you are facing or
whatever may come your way. More importantly I hope you choose to join me in
accepting the simple gift of eternal life that Jesus’ sacrifice can provide for
you, with no strings attached.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">All that said, I may have lost half my tongue, had my body
cut apart, endured cancer treatments and almost died, but I have so much more
and so many blessings to be thankful for.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">God bless you. If I
can pray for you, please e-mail me <a href="mailto:robert@roberthaase.com" target="_blank">here</a>.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Yours,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Robert B. Haase</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A Blessed Man</span></span></div>
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-49870747539285966312014-08-02T17:25:00.000-07:002014-08-02T17:25:35.179-07:00Awesome Things are Happening<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So much has been happening and I've had so little time to write. I've had amazing opportunities to encourage and bless others with my story and that alone is humbling and overwhelming at the same time. It is becoming clear now that the direction I am moving in is telling my story wherever I can to those who are supposed to hear it. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My seminar season is upon me and I will start traveling a lot more than I have been. A week and a half ago I returned from Nashville where I was able to spend some time with an old high school buddy of mine. Last week I spoke at all three services for the North Bay Christ the King Church in </span></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Birch Bay, Washington, </span></span>and I leave in a week to help a friend in need for a few days out of state. Then I return, share my story at Neighborhood Christian Center in Tumwater, Washington on August 17th and then fly out to teach on Oahu, Hawaii the next morning. Atlanta, Minneapolis and Chicago follow, and that's just the start.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I know, you're thinking... "Doesn't he need to take it easy and rest?" I realize I am probably pushing myself a little hard. Especially after learning that the radiation killed off my thyroid gland which explains my decreased energy. Hopefully the doctors will get that balanced out with the right amount of medication soon. But, that said, I have great news! I remain cancer free and all of my blood tests are showing healthy results. I did learn that I have been speaking with only one vocal chord though. It seems that the surgery damaged the nerve that affects my left chord. You know what that means?? I get the opportunity to use just one chord to tell the world I'm a blessed man! </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Please keep me in your prayers as I keep my eyes and ears open for direction in my future. I've mastered the ability to do things "Bob's Way" so far in life, but I'm trying to learn to do things "God's Way." It isn't easy. It has always made sense to act first, make decisions and then ask God to bless what I've chosen to do. Then I realize the choice I made may not have been "the best" and wonder what would have happened if I had just waited for a peace before acting. Is it just me? The point is I need to listen for that "still small voice" and wait for divine direction. Not as easy as it sounds.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I have had the chance to meet with a few men who are mentoring me in how to share my story. There is so much to say, but having insights on how to squeeze that huge story fit into a 45-minute time frame... how do you do that exactly? What is it that people need to hear when I share? I know I don't want to be that guy who's a "one string guitar", saying the same thing over and over for decades to come. I do, however, want to share the wisdom and insights that this journey has revealed to me by the Grace of God. The good news is that I am still here... still alive to share, and still realizing every day that I am a blessed man. I have so very much to be thankful for. </span></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Thank you all for keeping me in your prayers as I move forward. It means the world to me.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">On another subject, I am really excited about a movie project that I'm involved with. I've been made the Chief Marketing Officer for a film out of "Hollywood" called <a href="http://www.brokenmovie.com/" target="_blank">Broken</a>, written by Mark Cramer, who has been a friend of mine since we were just little kids. His first movie, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0130172/?ref_=nv_sr_3" target="_blank">P.U.N.K.S.</a> had <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001857/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1" target="_blank">Henry Winkler</a> ("The Fonz") as the villain, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001642/?ref_=nv_sr_1" target="_blank">Randy Quaid</a> as the father and a young <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004695/?ref_=nv_sr_1" target="_blank">Jessica Alba</a> as one of the major characters. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The movie, Broken, is a faith-based film, but doesn't "preach." Where most faith-based films are kind of boring and vanilla, this one is more gritty and edgy, able to keep the interest of teens, college-age adults as well as families. I'm proud to be a part of this awesome production team. You can see the "teaser to the upcoming trailer" here, followed by a "making of" video as well...</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Before I sign off, I want to share a video post that was sent to me from a woman at the church I spoke at this past weekend. Her name is Marel and she has agreed to let me share her response to what she heard and read in this blog. It was touching and how she applied what she learned will no doubt bless some of you as well. It is also an encouragement to me that I am right were I am supposed to be and doing what I am supposed to do... </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I hope that blessed you as much as it did me.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">~Robert B. Haase,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A Blessed Man</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/robert.haase" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Be my friend on Facebook</span></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="mailto:bob.haase@gmail.com" target="_blank">email me </a></span></span></div>
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-25544658800831817822014-07-05T10:48:00.004-07:002014-07-06T09:59:14.220-07:00A Vision for Millions<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I’m seriously excited. For some time now I’ve known in my heart that if I was going to have to walk the path that I’ve been on, that I was meant to share my story and encourage others along the way. Not only have I had visions of thousands of people in large audiences listening to me speak with my new voice, but I’ve had others tell me they saw the same. One used the term “millions.” If you are deathly afraid of public speaking, that would be a death sentence. To my ears, that was the confirmation I had hoped for. <br /><br />Moments before I posted my last blog entry, I added a last-minute link to my story on the USA Today website. Apparently, King5 News, who had just run my story, is owned by Gannett, the parent company for USA Today. What I didn’t mention was that I had received a phone call from a large ABC radio station in St. Louis, Missouri, the morning of June 18th. Mitch, the programming director for the station said that he had heard about my story and his radio team was interested in interviewing me live on the air the following week. I gladly scheduled a time for the following Tuesday, June 24th. After confirming the time, I thanked Mitch for his call and then he said, “Mr. Haase, I’m just curious… you do realize that you are the leading story on USA Today’s website right now, don’t you?” <br /><br />I was stunned. “Uh… no… I’ll take a look… and, thank you again.” <br /><br />Seriously? I jumped online and there it was… only I thought my web browser was having issues. My story was running in three different places on their homepage at the same time! Here is a screen shot: </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggsXXg5i4Hkudcd1PsA5mrum8pCp0LBI9x9QOK0oFp19jQZmCrfogTxW6CXjBrlgmOA7ZLa4WGTa55TohcT91Y_Q9lv8qPrfbSQ9b6B4zSO392Ah8qaTWORuOLHGOAuMtVSfGFUNNKNDo/s1600/USA+Today+2014-06-18+15.00.40.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggsXXg5i4Hkudcd1PsA5mrum8pCp0LBI9x9QOK0oFp19jQZmCrfogTxW6CXjBrlgmOA7ZLa4WGTa55TohcT91Y_Q9lv8qPrfbSQ9b6B4zSO392Ah8qaTWORuOLHGOAuMtVSfGFUNNKNDo/s1600/USA+Today+2014-06-18+15.00.40.png" height="235" width="400" /></a></span></span></div>
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<br />It suddenly became clear. My friend’s words started to reverberate in my head. “Millions.” Literally millions heard my story in one day alone. I ran a Google search for “motivational speaker tongue” and saw that about two-dozen websites were carrying the story at the same time. How cool is that? <br /><br />When Tuesday rolled around I was excited about the chance to do the interview with the two hosts, Martin Kilcoyne and Randi Naughton. It went well I think. I was a little apprehensive wondering what direction the two would take the conversation, but it went smoothly and I was incredibly thankful for the chance to encourage their listeners and remind them that regardless of what happens in this life, we need to look for the blessings because blessings are all around us. If you want to hear the interview, you can go <a href="http://www.ktrs.com/an-inspirational-story-robert-haase-lost-his-tongue-to-cancer-and-relearns-how-to-speak/">here</a>. (Just click on the little "play" triangle) <br /><br />Since that day, I have had two churches ask me to come and share my story with their congregations, which is kind of mind-blowing. I think the best part is that my story isn’t about a particular “brand” or denomination of religion. I am so thankful for the prayers of so many of my supporters during this entire experience, and even more thankful that God gave me the grace to make it through the most difficult season in my life. My story is about God’s Grace and the unwavering strength He has given me amidst the storms I have had to face. <br /><br />People often make the statement that “God will never give you more than you can handle.” That is not what the Bible says. That verse people are referring to actually has to do with temptation. The truth is, He WILL give you more than you can handle. Handle alone, that is. What the Bible does say is that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. THAT is in the Bible, and it is as fresh to me now as the day it was written. <br /><br />Speaking of strength… I had a blood test checking my TSH levels last week in preparation for the appointment with my ecologist yesterday. The results came back and although my levels were low earlier this year, meaning my thyroid gland was pumping out hormones at a higher rate than normal, it started acting like the old incandescent bulbs that My last <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRBuMy6qi5V6lmmF7Rz24JyEjdj7ORTXCrVcpFfY-cM5UGeXTKN6DiraCT4EDFEipGq8shRJmDFqjYy-1nDJ9b4PJ3dcFDfNLs192gmohJhlYpBnzU64tXIsfaG1A7qDcpVU0EUOe6s3Y/s1600/TSH+results.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRBuMy6qi5V6lmmF7Rz24JyEjdj7ORTXCrVcpFfY-cM5UGeXTKN6DiraCT4EDFEipGq8shRJmDFqjYy-1nDJ9b4PJ3dcFDfNLs192gmohJhlYpBnzU64tXIsfaG1A7qDcpVU0EUOe6s3Y/s1600/TSH+results.png" height="189" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My last seven TSH test results on a graph</td></tr>
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seven TSH test results on a graph occasionally burned super bright right before they burned out. And that's what happened. My thyroid simply quit due to gland's unfortunate location which was dead-center in the path of my radiation treatments. The bad news is that I get to take hormone replacements every day for the rest of my life. The failure of my thyroid does explain why my energy has been down lately, so I’m looking forward to that reversing. The good news is that if we ever have a nuclear bomb go off, "radioactive iodine 131" won’t uptake into my thyroid and I’ll have a higher survival rate! Who knew? I’m smiling right now. Just looking for the silver lining. <br /><br />Around 2:00am this morning, I received a text from a pastor friend of mine. It read, “My wife has been diagnosed with stage 2b triple negative breast cancer and it has spread to her lymph…” She’s a woman who eats well, exercises a lot, is a marathon runner and is incredibly healthy. As her husband, his world has been rocked and the foundation under his feet just gave out. I told him I would pray fervently but he needed to know that sometimes it takes the ground dropping out before we are able to take flight and soar. Sounds like a cliché, but it is true. <br /><br />When all we have expected to remain constant suddenly drops out from under us, looking up can be hard. It is so easy to take our lives for granted with a good job, solid marriage, money in the bank, a great reputation, success, the white picket fence… and then you hear the word “cancer”, and it all changes. Her cancer is a difficult one to fight. “Triple Negative" means that the three most common types of receptors known to fuel most breast cancer growth are not present in the cancer tumor. That means normal treatments won’t work. That kind of news rocks your world, making you question everything. It starts a cascading flood of emotions and it allows fear to creep in. <br /><br />I am praying for my friend and his wife and I hope you will join me. I want to see her healed and new again, but most importantly, I want her to remember that it doesn’t matter how you die, what truly matters is how you live. The choices you make each day, what you chose to make important, what you make a priority... those are the things that count. This journey of life isn’t over until its over. What you make of it until then is up to you. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">~Robert B. Haase, </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A Blessed Man </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="mailto:bob.haase@gmail.com">Email Me </a></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/robert.haase">Be my friend on Facebook </a></span></span></div>
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-11277809252095380552014-06-18T15:48:00.002-07:002017-12-15T11:57:03.099-08:00It was a good week<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Hello again, my friends. I've got good news! my CT scan results came back from last week's scan and I continue to be cancer free! I cannot tell you what a relief that has been to me. A huge relief to my family as well. I will continue to be checked every three months for the foreseeable future with September 13th being my next scan. I really do not cherish those scans though. Since the oncologist wants to see everything clearly, I need to have an IV placed in my arm for delivery of a contrast agent that must be injected during the scan. The problem is, my veins are now stiffer and have thicker walls. They also have somehow found a way to hide when needles are near. I had a total of 21 "pokes" over the previous 3 CT scans. This time, I asked for one of the Group Health Urgent Care nurses to join me in the procedure room in search of a viable vein. Praise God! Just one "poke" and no pain. That made me happy all by itself, but being told, "You're cancer free", well... that was the week topper for me.</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyYNopxDSlcbu8Pi5DYzQ1L3TGh3NOiJVs7WrRfhdK5uE8mpl5T6EZkyPN3JmSDry8nYaXpTiANNCdA8_7Ogq8huTM0tO9kYnFq-YkifVxixjSc_7QU2s9JqozaGvQim07bpbP99dfPfQ/s1600/Screenshot+2014-06-18+13.25.01.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyYNopxDSlcbu8Pi5DYzQ1L3TGh3NOiJVs7WrRfhdK5uE8mpl5T6EZkyPN3JmSDry8nYaXpTiANNCdA8_7Ogq8huTM0tO9kYnFq-YkifVxixjSc_7QU2s9JqozaGvQim07bpbP99dfPfQ/s1600/Screenshot+2014-06-18+13.25.01.png" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Today was a huge day for me. I produced, promoted and spoke at my Business & Marketing Bootcamp seminar in Bellevue, Washington, and it went exceptionally well. I have to admit, I've been doing this for years, but back then I had a radio voice and didn't have a disfigured neck. I was worried how I would be received. Although I had helped out in two of my seminars a couple of months ago, my lead assistant, Charity Lisherness, carried the bulk of the load so that I could spend time going back to my hotel room to rest and sleep. I hadn't had to carry an all-day class since my surgery. Thank God I had three speakers that each spoke for a half-hour. Those 30-minute breaks were immensely helpful. But by the end of the day, I found myself using the tables towards the front of the room to covertly lean on to bolster my strength. It was a long day.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Before I started the class, though, Elisa Hahn, the reporter from King 5 News who did a story on me last October, (<a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2014/06/18/inspiration-nation-motivational-speaker-loses-tongue/10760365/" target="_blank">click here to watch the original story</a>)<i>*</i>, had her videographer put a lapel microphone on me. Elisa wanted to do a follow up story on me and being that today was my official full day of me being back in the saddle, teaching a full day with my easily-fatigued tongue, Elisa wanted to be there, documenting not only the huge strides I have made in my recovery, but my first day back.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My two youngest daughters, Sara and Holly, were able to be there at my class to assist me and Elisa was able to interview them both as well. The video of the follow up news story can be found <a href="http://www.king5.com/news/local/Motivational-speaker-goes-back-to-work-after-losing-half-his-tongue-263561201.html" target="_blank">HERE</a>. Elisa really is a gifted story teller, able to capture a story on video while interviewing in a laid back way that puts you at ease immediately. She almost lulls you into forgetting that you are being recorded with the camera rolling. What my girls said made me proud and humbled. Sara's words about me "sticking around to walk her down the isle someday" filled my heart and made my eyes moist. It was Holly though, my youngest, whose words brought me to tears. We were both teary-eyed, but sadly, Holly's cherished words from her heart were "left on the editing room floor," as they say. That made me sad as I wish all of you could have heard every word they uttered from their hearts. My three girls are the biggest blessings of my lifetime.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My parents and family have been a constant blessing to me in the uncertainty of this whole cancer journey, and I love each of them dearly. Even my parents who are in their 80's will drop everything to help me and be there for me. When I hear of the stories of families that hold onto the past, hold onto bitterness, resentment and are unforgiving of hurts, I feel for them. They are missing out on the blessings of forgiveness and letting go of our "right to be angry." </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> ~Robert B. Haase,<br />A Blessed Man</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /><a href="mailto:bob.haase@gmail.com" target="_blank">Email Me</a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /><a href="https://www.facebook.com/robert.haase" target="_blank">Be my friend on Facebook </a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Video Links: </span></span><br />
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<li><a href="http://youtu.be/GWTZTecQ29w" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Robert's 8-month message</span></span></a></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://youtu.be/9l6IPZ3dLj8" target="_blank">King5 News, October 4, 2013</a>*</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://youtu.be/R1BoBzbSMM0" target="_blank">King5 News, June 17, 2014</a>*</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2014/06/18/inspiration-nation-motivational-speaker-loses-tongue/10760365/" target="_blank">USA Today, June 18, 2014 </a></span></span></li>
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-9642988386701255522014-06-04T15:38:00.006-07:002014-06-04T15:38:58.743-07:00Eight Months Since My Hemiglossectomy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: large;">It has been eight-months since my hemiglossectomy. Thank you all for your loving kindness and support. Here is a video message allowing you to see and hear my progress first-hand. It was filmed on June 4th, 2014.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> ~Robert B. Haase,<br /><i>A Blessed Man</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /><a href="mailto:bob.haase@gmail.com" target="_blank">Email Me</a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /><a href="https://www.facebook.com/robert.haase" target="_blank">Be my friend on Facebook</a> </span></span></div>
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-66067364009750709242014-05-13T08:27:00.001-07:002014-05-13T08:27:36.735-07:00When The Bleeding Won't Stop<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This past month has been especially hard, in a few different ways. I have been challenged physically as well as emotionally.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The pain I mentioned in my last post has been continuing, although the hyperbaric chamber treatments seem to be giving me some relief as the floor of my mouth has shown signs of healing. It has been disheartening every night when I look at the blood that leaks out of my mouth, around my teeth as my gums seem to scream <i>"we aren't anywhere near done leaving you alone yet!"</i> Even though I can't use toothpaste because of the chemical pain it imposes, brushing with water alone changes the splashes in the sink from crystal clear to what looks like red Kool-Aid... </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The radiation was over 5-months ago, the bleeding still hasn't stopped, nor the pain that comes with it or the sensitivity it gives me to foods that I eat. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Medications seem to help me as I am working through this phase, but they make me less productive and there is so much I need to get done. In the next 3-months alone, I need to:</span></span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Prep, market, fill and present two business seminars in Olympia & Bellevue in June and July</span></span> </li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Develop 30% new content for my <i>Secrets of Deep Tissue™ </i>course, including making a new workbook, PowerPoint presentation, and a new training video to accompany the course</span></span> </li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Secure & contract 12 locations for my fall national seminar schedule</span></span> </li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Launch my Mastermind Diamond Circle Mentors Group membership program</span></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Create a new video training program for sale on Amazon.com</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Create weekly video podcast content for multiple websites</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Plan and launch early distribution for a faith-based Hollywood motion picture as Chief Marketing Officer</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And finally... recover from cancer treatment's side effects and get off of all medication</span></span></li>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I will get it all done though, I have to. God has brought me this far and He hasn't failed me yet. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The second "stressor" comes in the form of gossip, accusations and disparaging remarks about me </span></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">that were said amongst several people at a local fundraiser for someone. When it got back to me that I was the topic of conversation and what was being said, it wasn't only</span></span> hurtful but it really saddened me. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Why? Because I traded my Kia Soul in for a 1-year old Ford Mustang. If you know me, one of the things that really brings me joy is going out for a drive, especially in a convertible on a sunny day. I'm a simple guy and that is one of the things that really brings an ear-to-ear smile to my face. After having half of my tongue removed, enduring the pain that I have and am enduring as well as the trauma of chemotherapy and radiation burns and side effects, I've been looking forward to finding a used convertible to enjoy this summer. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The gossip was that I used funds from my fundraisers and gifts that you have given to my "GoFundMe" account towards a car and not towards medical bills. I was even told that I should at the very least given the donors a chance to have a "vote" on what I did with the "leftover donations" rather than buy "brand new" car. Here is the truth...</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Between my major surgeries in September and October of 2013, the chemo and radiation treatments as well as the near-death experience in January that landed me in the hospital's ICU, I had over $20,000.00 in medical bills. The donations that were given totaled about $15,000.00 and of that, over 40% was donated by my family which involved them skipping Christmas and giving me the money instead. There were no "leftover" funds given. In addition, I did not buy a new car, but a used car with over 30,000 miles on it. No cash was involved as I had traded my Kia Soul in and borrowed 100% of the balance. The best part is that my car payment is over $100.00 a month less that what the payment was on my Kia. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">In truth, I wasn't just hurt, but I was angry when I heard the rumors that were being spread about me. Really? I've gone through all of this and people were upset that I bought a used car? </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Is it because I look "good" and do not have the appearance of a destroyed body? Is it because I do not put on an image of poverty to somehow look like someone who deserves the financial blessings of those who gave?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You will notice that I have removed the donation link that I had been putting on the end of my posts. I am no longer going to look at my situation from that of an impoverished man. Instead, I am living my life as a blessed man. God answered my prayers with the help of my family, from my friends and a number of complete strangers who made the decision to bless me with donations that went towards the medical bills that had been shackling me. I refuse to look at my situation from a perspective of what I don't have any longer. From this point forward, I instead will look at what I have been blessed with and the knowledge that regardless of how bad things look, I am blessed.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I do my best to lead a life that does not offend, but I don't think that will ever be possible. People will always look at others from their own perspectives, lacking the whole story. However, the problem does not lie so much from seeing others from a given perspective, but using that perspective to judge them. When I think about it, I have been guilty of that. I see someone in a situation and make a judgment about them and don't really even realize it. I don't want to be judged, but I make judgments about others all the time. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So when you see me drive by in my red convertible Mustang with the top down on a sunny day, you will now know that I'm a guy with a car payment, who is blessed to have friends and family that are willing to help him through the most difficult of times, who is in pain but thankful for the lessons he's learning and he is doing his darndest not to judge others, let alone form an opinion without knowing the whole story.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> ~Robert B. Haase,<br />A Blessed Man</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /><a href="mailto:bob.haase@gmail.com" target="_blank">Email Me</a><br /><br /><a href="https://www.facebook.com/robert.haase" target="_blank">Be my friend on Facebook </a></span></span></div>
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-40195256890071120702014-04-27T20:40:00.002-07:002014-05-10T17:19:56.112-07:00Realizing You Are Not In Control, Again<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As I write this, my laptop is perched up against my knees. My knees have two pillows beneath them and their are three pillows behind me as I am reclined in my hyperbaric chamber. The pressure dial has just reached 4lbs per square inch and my ears have been popping all along the way, just as they do when my flights reach cruising altitude. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My hyperbaric chamber treatments are in full swing now as I have completed my second week and have 4-more weeks to go of Monday through Friday, 9am to 10:30am sessions. When you add the time for getting me situated as well as the depressurization phase plus drive time, it is well over 2-hours a day of commitment. As I mentioned in my last post, the idea is to build blood vessels so that my tongue can heal and recuperate from the radiation treatments that ended this past December.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I really hope this therapy brings me relief soon though as I never expected to be in the amount of pain I am experiencing now. It's past the middle of April now, for crying out loud. What's the deal? As I brush my teach each evening, blood leaks out from my gums surrounding each tooth and splashes into the sink. I'm not seeing the evidence of healing, but I know I am healed. My body hasn't received the message just yet. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Literally for the past 3-weeks, I have been on the most pain medication that I have ever had to take in my life. For the second Sunday in a row, I've found myself sobbing at a family meal. My parents, my three daughters, my oldest's husband and middle daughter's boyfriend. They watch me folded and broken from the pain, not knowing how to help, not knowing what to say. I love my girl's attention, but getting their attention because I am unable to control the emotions that come from debilitating pain isn't okay with me.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">On more than a few nights I have found myself being wide awake at 3 and 4am, the searing pain nudging me, reminding me that I have a ways to go before my healing is complete. But the fact that it lingers on... it makes me realize that maybe we are all in a state of continual healing. Life happens and we recover to varying degrees, dealing with the ramifications of what each stage brings. It feels like we are never completely well, but thankful that we are not as bad as we once were.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I have been so frustrated too. I love being productive and getting a lot done, but pain medications make it hard to concentrate and get my work done. Even writing this blog... I fall asleep as I type, wake up and continue on again, trying to regroup and get my train of thought back to continue on. It's like drug-induced Alzheimers. My dad calls it "Haase-heimers"</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It is nearly May, nearly five-months since my chemo and radiation treatments were complete and here I am still dealing with pain from the treatment itself. Seems hard to encourage others when the strength that has held me isn't always there. I'm a grown man and should be able to handle all that life throws at me, but I'm not doing so well lately and while I know I'm not a failure, I also know I am not in control of this process either. Learning to let go and realize that I lack control has been an ongoing struggle. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Seems like a platitude... but "one day at a time" is all I can handle right now and sometimes, it is hour by hour.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Thank you for your prayers. They mean the world to me. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">~Robert B. Haase,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>A Blessed Man</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="mailto:bob.haase@gmail.com" target="_blank">Email Me</a></span></span></span></i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"> </span></span></span> </i></span></span>
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-6184390078116818512014-04-01T10:06:00.000-07:002014-05-10T17:20:09.046-07:00The Power of the Tongue<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Please do not read these next words as a slick attempt to get you to donate to my fund. I want to tell this story because out of absurdity, wisdom, life lessons and more can emerge... </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The short story: After my January "brush with death" (systemic sepsis, pneumonia and respiratory failure) the hospital charged my insurance company over $80,000.00 for my ICU care. Group Health adjusted the bill with the hospital and I was billed the
balance, which was over $5,300.00. I had asked for financial consideration towards the remainder of my bill by filling out a long application as well as providing profit & loss statements for my business as well as personal and corporate tax returns for 2011 and 2013. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">After reviewing my application for help, I was told "No", I would not receive any help whatsoever. The reason? Because I had earned a good wage in 2012, I should be able to make a good wage now. I told the adjuster, "Ma'am, I am a public speaker who has lost half of his tongue..."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">She interrupted me and said, "Yes, but you made a good wage back in 2012 and you should be able to do that now..." </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I asked her, "Ma'am, if I were a professional baseball player that lost his throwing arm in an accident, do you think that might affect my ability to earn a living playing baseball?" My logic didn't get through and I realized that I was getting more stressed as I continued to try to get the woman to understand. It was at that moment that I realized I needed to let go. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I tell you all of that to say this... You cannot force benevolence, and sometimes, you have to let go and realize that there is a bigger lesson to be learned in what we are traveling through. I tell others that God will provide for our needs, but I wasn't believing that for myself. There I was, trying to convince the woman that I couldn't earn as much as I had before and I started to believe my own words. If I cannot see a way out of this, then I have truly convinced myself that I will fail. My words direct my thoughts, and my thoughts direct my actions... I was believing my own words. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I am not talking about speaking reality into existence or quantum physics. What I am trying to say is that we are prone to believe our own negative talk. If I believe I am damaged goods and I am unlikely to earn an income capable of supporting myself, I will make choices that will support that belief, or just stop trying. On the other hand, if I believe that losing half of my tongue has given me a new vantage point in life or that the lessons I have learned will make me a better public speaker with a more amazing story to tell, then I will act accordingly. Our words have power. That was last week.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This week, as I write this, I am just days away from leaving for Des Moines, Iowa, to teach my injury treatment seminar with my lead assistant, Charity Lisherness. Have I fully returned to my old self, able to speak with a resounding voice that fills the room? No. Does my message have more intensity and is it delivered by a man that has a changed view on life? Absolutely. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Truth be told, as I write this, I am also in a great deal of pain. The pain is different from a few weeks ago. Until this past Friday, March 28th, pain had been building in the left sublingual part of my tongue. I say "tongue", but it is the part that was rebuilt from my forearm. How could I have pain there? It is the same spot that the cancer had returned so many times before. I had my local ENT take a look at it and he was concerned. So concerned that he referred me to my surgeon at Virgina Mason. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When I felt that pain, in that place, I grew more and more fearful. A near-paralyzing fear. Had the cancer returned? My mind was spinning and traveling through every possible outcome. In the days before March 28th, I changed my life insurance policy so that my girls would all receive equal proceeds as beneficiaries. I went on Amazon.com to order software so that I could write my will. My mind was racing. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">On the 28th, I traveled up to Virginia Mason for a biopsy. With the suspect area so difficult to get to, I had to have general anesthesia and have the work done in an operating room. It wasn't a simple tissue excision. It seemed like only a moment had passed from when I climbed onto the operating table until I began waking up in the recovery room. The words from the nurse sitting by my side were the first sounds I heard as I emerged from the haze of anesthesia. She kept repeating, "You need to breathe, Robert... breathe... take a deep breath for me... Robert? I need you to breathe..." Apparently I was so relaxed I wasn't breathing much at all and the oxygen sensor was picking up dangerously low blood levels. Breathing deeper became easier as I became more and more conscious. When I finally felt completely awake, it was then that my surgeon walked around the corner and with a big smile he said, </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>"There is no cancer. You are cancer free." </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Wow. Those words can bring tears to your eyes, peace to your mind and a drop in blood pressure, all at the same time. But there it was, my pain wasn't from cancer. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Apparently the tissue is not healing well due to the effects of radiation and the lack of circulation in my "new tongue" impedes the healing process. I am still waiting for confirmation from my physicians, but it looks like the suggested treatment is <a href="http://www.hbot.com/faq#2" target="_blank">hyperbaric oxygen therapy</a>. Not once, but 5-days-a-week for 6-weeks for a total of 30-treatments. Virginia Mason is said to have the largest hyperbaric chamber in North America. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So now I sit at home in pain recovering from my biopsy. But this pain is worth putting up with. After all, I am cancer free. I can handle anything.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">~Robert B. Haase,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>A Blessed Man</i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span>
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-47738034691271204892014-03-17T12:16:00.003-07:002014-05-10T17:20:23.232-07:00My Second Belly Button<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As the signs of spring become present just days before it officially arrives on March 20th, I can't help but be grateful for all that surrounds me. I was walking through the grocery store a couple of days ago and saw some flowers on sale. The buds were small and unopened and I could not visualize what was yet to come or how they would look when they would eventually open. I've purchased flowers before that never opened which made me sad. Potential of something that was unable to reveal itself. </span></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My mother's name is Violet, and I've always been fond of purple, so </span></span>I purchased them anyways and two days later, they opened and really were amazing. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBXZoMwzKaxHTuoOdGMvK_pUtQHCL_pUQJYQOpCirl8GqdnSo43migSHIOk1oyAr-jvVRRCeBvnx7FYDHpRtn17hYK4Wod2VMfp7Pr0K19eZ0UUSfZ7XoQuadF2SAm8ZhoduMKYrtPU40/s1600/photo+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBXZoMwzKaxHTuoOdGMvK_pUtQHCL_pUQJYQOpCirl8GqdnSo43migSHIOk1oyAr-jvVRRCeBvnx7FYDHpRtn17hYK4Wod2VMfp7Pr0K19eZ0UUSfZ7XoQuadF2SAm8ZhoduMKYrtPU40/s1600/photo+2.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The point is, I was unable to see what the flower would look like when I bought it, but I knew something amazing and beautiful would likely emerge soon, and it eventually did. That's how I have been feeling about my life lately... I'm in this situation, recovering from cancer, not knowing what lies ahead for me, but I cannot help but know in my heart that something amazing will emerge from it.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I have been able to eat entirely by mouth for the past month, not having to use my abdominal PEG tube whatsoever. The best part is that I can actually keep my food down. That's amazing. I was unable to visualize the day coming that would allow me to actually eat enough food by mouth to sustain me and keep it down at the same time. Such a huge blessing that I would have taken for granted just a year ago.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDVUWPuOv4qMwd3O-W7t8SL3Mq2FCFem5Zd8XUb-wzoB8lMlSHnC4vvWhY6WALDWy-mbfVh8rGrI9auoGIRxdrmpLUh7S0ULnJ_nVpwZES4cJgTkIvxew_vuirsM8Oq4Ns2hDk4iaGRiQ/s1600/1375873_10152288434723765_2133662206_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDVUWPuOv4qMwd3O-W7t8SL3Mq2FCFem5Zd8XUb-wzoB8lMlSHnC4vvWhY6WALDWy-mbfVh8rGrI9auoGIRxdrmpLUh7S0ULnJ_nVpwZES4cJgTkIvxew_vuirsM8Oq4Ns2hDk4iaGRiQ/s1600/1375873_10152288434723765_2133662206_n.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a>I have to be transparent though. Seeing that tube dangling from my belly every morning when I woke up was disheartening. I felt like a freak of nature. A broken man that would never be whole. It was like an umbilical cord that wouldn't go away.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhoyvOgXoXCs5qjgHEtBe248npERo5E6C2ouJ6x80kvmyYG81MspeLKRI0vvnv7GsZ7kPErHTR25EW_g7J7mhbIv51uQIvIB4y7WBDi0b6Fzq4Se50YI0HdIEe7dW3vhBnOo_SjrFaSMg/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As the silicone tubing started so show it's wear and tear months after it was installed at Virginia Mason, the tube filled with debris from my stomach. It looked more disgusting as each day passed. Then I realized that I really was done with it. After meeting with one of my oncologists, he said it was time for it to come out. He would make arrangements. It was scheduled for March 4th.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4idV6DjD4oelX37fi_gsQrnk6RpPjQ3Lc8ExVk_AbE4Ms8n8G50Ug4WHsfnFgsHZoWusIVAJDtp_ZbGiYl0z1fccB0GmUHEuXisL9CEt025fvxE0OkmLFw0WZEHc_M8lX0KmtzDVnCwI/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4idV6DjD4oelX37fi_gsQrnk6RpPjQ3Lc8ExVk_AbE4Ms8n8G50Ug4WHsfnFgsHZoWusIVAJDtp_ZbGiYl0z1fccB0GmUHEuXisL9CEt025fvxE0OkmLFw0WZEHc_M8lX0KmtzDVnCwI/s1600/photo.JPG" height="320" width="301" /></a></span></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">My Second Belly Button, post tube removal</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My daughter, Ashley, picked me up to drive me for the big procedure at St. Peter's Hospital. I really didn't know what to expect. My name was called as we sat in the waiting area and I was led back to a procedure room. The nurse used a syringe to remotely deflate the
bag that was holding my stomach lining tightly to my abdominal wall. She made small talk as she drew out some air and clear liquid and then she said, "Ready?" It was literally pulled out in a matter of 2-seconds. It just slid out. She pressed a piece of gauze over the whole and said, "This will seal itself up in 24-hours. Don't eat or drink too much."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And that was it. After removing the bandages the next day, I couldn't help but grin. There it was. I had a second belly button. I now have a daily reminder that I was never a freak of nature. Rather, I was being given a reminder of a second chance, a new beginning in this life. My original belly button was a lifelong reminder of the first half of my life, when my parents brought me into this world. My new belly button is a symbol of the second half of life. Now, the question is, what do I do with that second half?</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDZBOoohc6Ydm4a9gkqrUZokta8dSBV3b65-sj5RMsuL5Kmsze6Omtr-5e4DUct-MAKK5BfKtFPZGNP-AK8oeUXCRNXuuNEVlVkMC8naHGWQYWpWZRidt_bRNqSHCcEwioQWue4DRN2TQ/s1600/photo+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDZBOoohc6Ydm4a9gkqrUZokta8dSBV3b65-sj5RMsuL5Kmsze6Omtr-5e4DUct-MAKK5BfKtFPZGNP-AK8oeUXCRNXuuNEVlVkMC8naHGWQYWpWZRidt_bRNqSHCcEwioQWue4DRN2TQ/s1600/photo+1.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></span></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">My first "wine" painting, not<br />yet complete<br /> </span></span></span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">In the pasts weeks I've not just been feeling better, but trying to
get out of my comfort zone, doing things I've always wanted to do. Most
recently I have begun painting. Except for Mrs. Ward's art class back in
Junior High, I have never painted. The first thing I did was turn on my
Apple TV and started watching Bob Ross' painting videos that streamed from YouTube. Remember him?
Skinny white guy with the big Afro hair style who would talk in a soft
voice and talk as he painted? He would usually say things like, "Let's
put a little tree here. It's a happy little tree. He loves being in the
sunshine, next to the gentle brook in the calming breezes coming off of
the mountains we just created..." I could watch him for days. Truth is,
I'm not really a guy who likes painting, or even photographing
landscapes. Nevertheless, I started painting and did try a landscape. It
was of a photo I took in the mountains of Sedona, Arizona. I also
painted my daughter and son in law on the beach after their wedding
ceremony. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">That said, I do like wine. Well, I used to like
it until my treatment changed how my palate perceives what wine tastes
like. But I love the look of wine in light whether in a glass or bottle,
so I have given that a try and it has been relaxing and fun. But it still doesn't answer the question... what now?</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDidH-6Gmhka3-yz4GE3DR_vvI1uuBsFPAofEoOhqBMug1OwGd7XzZdMWX_XfA-hcGl7hoRZYqCJ4PW7iBKKVnLmGyJQ_sGYLoVMUYJnsJuUExv17Y1w7nNJj9sqRNDBgdyE-F-lh1OCw/s1600/photo+3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDidH-6Gmhka3-yz4GE3DR_vvI1uuBsFPAofEoOhqBMug1OwGd7XzZdMWX_XfA-hcGl7hoRZYqCJ4PW7iBKKVnLmGyJQ_sGYLoVMUYJnsJuUExv17Y1w7nNJj9sqRNDBgdyE-F-lh1OCw/s1600/photo+3.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></a></span></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">My Spokane, Washington class. 29 students who blessed me.</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Three weeks ago, I sent my lead assistant, Charity Lisherness, off to Chicago to meet up with another one of my assistants, Evelin Zagone. I sat at home going
stir-crazy, wanting to be there. Last weekend I decided to travel with Charity to Spokane, Washington to teach my <a href="http://www.haasemyotherapy.com/Haase_Myotherapy/Program.html" target="_blank">Secrets of Deep Tissue </a>program. Going was: 1) against the advice of a few of my friends, 2) less than
three months
from when my chemo and radiation therapies were complete, and 3) less than
two months from when I almost died from systemic sepsis and respiratory
failure, but I wanted to get back to work and the idea of sitting at home didn't sit well with me. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It is humbling to think that potentially millions of people across
this country have been helped through the trainings that my staff and I present. Thousands of therapists and physicians have learned
techniques to help get patients out of pain over the
past 13-years and those thousands of therapists and physician's have each helped thousands of patients get well. It is staggering when I sit back and think about it.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">On Friday morning, March 7th, Charity and I packed up our materials, drove to SeaTac, and flew east of the mountains to Spokane. The seminar was not only better than I had hoped, but it blessed me in ways I never had expected. The students blessed me far more than I blessed them and it was overwhelming. I felt humbled. What was even more a blessing is when a woman named Sarah Wood came up to me at the end of the weekend and told me that God gave her a word that she was to gather a few students together, lay hands on me and pray for me. I did not hesitate. When we wrapped everything up, a half-dozen students came to the front of the room and prayed for me, blessing me and encouraged my heart. I was truly touched. We should have brought tissues.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So now what? Where do I go from here? I do not have an answer to that question yet. I feel as though I am supposed to use my story and what I have shared in this blog to bless others, but how? I was talking to a friend this week about how I see me versus what others see when they see me. Everyone seems to see something different. Some see hope, courage and fortitude while others see an example of some sort. Others, however, see cancer when they look at me or when my situation comes to mind. I don't have time to focus on cancer, but they do. It scares them. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I have friends pulling away because they do not want to draw close to me only to find out that the cancer returned later, tearing their hearts apart. I don't have time for that. I have the remainder of this life to live and a fixed number of days to live that life. The message of my life is not that I have fought cancer valiantly or that I am winning or won a battle. That is not my story at all. We all have battles. The message, what I want to share with others, is the answer to this question: <i>"What Will YOU Do With The Gift of Life That You Have Yet to Live?"</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Are you looking through a telescope so that you can view what you yearn for only to realize you are surrounded by an amazing destiny that lays right in front of you? </span></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Will you allow the broken dreams of your past and the scars on your heart to be anchors that stifle your future? Does the the lack that you perceive in your life define you? What if I told you that you have everything that you need at this very moment to take the first step to a new future?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You don't need a new "belly button" to realize that something amazing can begin within you. Are you keeping your eyes open? More importantly, are you ready for what lies ahead?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">~Robert B. Haase,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>A Blessed Man</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/robert.haase" target="_blank">Be my friend on Facebook</a></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="mailto:bob.haase@gmail.com" target="_blank">Email Me</a> </span></span></span></div>
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-88197623032579717222014-02-27T10:51:00.003-08:002014-05-10T18:01:38.880-07:00Depression, Mending and Finding the Blessings<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A friend asked me the other day about how I was doing and how my state of mind was... Was I "depressed"...</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I guess I am blessed to say that I've never succumbed to depression. Regardless of why people get depressed, whether from brain chemistry, biological factors, hormones, DNA or life events, I have been fortunate to have never experienced it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">While I've met people who have struggled with depression their entire lives and truly need medication to cope, I always wondered, "Why not me?" When I was going through divorce and feared losing my children, I was scared, but never got depressed. When the economy tanked and I lost my business, my home, my car... when my second wife left... still, no depression.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I've always wondered if my lack of depression was due to my perspective on life. Now that I have...</span></span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Lost 1/2 of my tongue</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Have a huge crazy looking scar on my forearm that everyone think looks like a giant sperm </span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Had my neck permanently disfigured from the removal of my lymph nodes</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Have a tongue that screams with pain from most foods</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Found out that I have dozens of permanent titanium clips embedded into my throat from surgery</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Lost my resonant radio voice in exchange for a voice that makes me feel less confident in how others perceive me </span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Went from having a strong, muscular physique to being a skinny lightweight, having lost 60lbs because of all of my cancer treatment</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Been unable to sleep more than a few hours without waking up in excruciating pain from a dry tongue from loss of my salivary gland function...</span></span></li>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You would think I would be depressed. Geez... even I think I should be depressed, right? When my friend asked about depression, I told her that I have never been depressed before because of <i>how I see my situation</i>. I am never angry about what has happened nor do I feel self pity. Don't get me wrong... I really wish this hadn't happened to me, but I wouldn't want my worst enemy to have to deal with this either... so, as I've said before, "Why not me?"</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What have I gained from tragedy? I am now:</span></span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">No longer dealing with borderline diabetes and my blood sugar levels are completely normal</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">At a healthy weight and my heart is less stressed with my new body size</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Living with blood pressure that is actually low </span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Not in a house I cannot afford</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Not driving a car worth less than I owe</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Completely loved by my three beautiful, intelligent daughters </span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Blessed to have found healing between my girl's mother and myself and am able to demonstrate true forgiveness with her as an example to others</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Forced to slow down and contemplate life while I take time to write my next book and learn to paint </span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Most importantly, I AM ALIVE</span></span></li>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I really am blessed. The good news is that I am mending. Where just a few weeks ago, my immune system was shot, compromised because of the ravages of chemo and radiation therapies, my white blood cell count is now in the normal range, showing that I can once again fight off disease and other life-threatening illnesses.</span><span style="font-size: large; font-weight: normal;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large; font-weight: normal;">For now, I am "taking one day at a time"... currently writing my book entitled, <i>It Cost Me A Million Dollars To Write
This Book: The Insiders Guide to Business Marketing</i>. After I finish that, I will begin writing about this journey I've been on, drawing much from the blogs I've written so far.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large; font-weight: normal;">I would have never chosen this journey if it was offered to me at any price, but the journey has transformed me. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large; font-weight: normal;">Thank you for sharing in this catharsis with me. Thank you for sharing in this transformation of my heart and soul, and standing beside me as I process all that has been thrown at me. I cannot tell all of you how much your love, encouragement and support has meant to me. You have truly blessed me. Thank you.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">~Robert B. Haase,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>A Blessed Man</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/robert.haase" target="_blank">Be my friend on Facebook</a></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="mailto:bob.haase@gmail.com" target="_blank">Email Me</a> </span></span></span></div>
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-24536844895226876292014-02-08T12:43:00.000-08:002014-02-08T12:43:02.958-08:00Giving Credit To God Vs. Science and Medicine<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">It has been a difficult process being laid-up at home recovering. If you know me, you will know I don't do "down time" well unless I am on the beaches of a tropical island somewhere on a bed of white sand with a tropical drink in my hand... but I am not. <br /><br />I have been wondering what to write about this past week. Wondering what I could possibly share when nothing is really happening. When your assignment from your physician is to stay quiet, the ideas for blog posts are along the lines of "watching a pot boil" or "watching paint dry." Not much to really write about.<br /><br />I received a question from someone regarding an October blog post last night and I realized that my question had been answered. This is what I was to write about this week... The question comes from someone named "Nic"..</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">"I accidentally stumbled on your blog by accident, when reading an article on the news regarding mesh squares being sewn to women's tongues to aid in losing weight. Upon further information, looking through photos - your 'new' tongue came up, and I was intrigued. </span></span></i><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> </span></span></i></blockquote>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I read some of your blog, and am wondering how you give so much credit to a 'god' over science & medicine, which had enabled you to be where you are today. Can you please explain why you have such faith in a deity that offers no help or aid in your skin grafts, medicines, radiation therapy - the list goes on. </span></span></i></blockquote>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">If you were to only 'pray' yourself well, do you think you would be where you are now, without medical intervention? I am not disrespecting you, I just would like an honest, unbiased non-bible related answer. </span></span></i></blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><i>Thank you & all the best."</i></span></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />I’m glad you stumbled upon my blog, Nic. Those are great questions.<br /><br />You are asking me for an “unbiased non-bible related answer”, but you are also asking me to respond to a question about “god” vs. science and medicine… I can’t really do that, as the two are intertwined for me. Please forgive me in advance for interweaving my answer.<br /><br />I have to go back to questions you haven’t asked to answer the questions that you have asked. The biggest question is usually asked is something like “how can you believe in a ‘god’ especially with all of the horrible things that happen on this earth… a ‘loving’ god wouldn’t allow for such atrocities to happen…”<br /><br />The answer comes down to the fallacy of a child saying “ I exist because I do… no parents were involved. I don’t believe in parents, especially parents that would allow for me to fall off of my bicycle or be bullied on the playground at school. I exist because of science, not parents.” Our perspective on this earth is immersive… we see the trees, but we cannot see the forest, let alone the many forests, mountains, lakes and oceans… we see what we see due to our limited perspective.<br /><br />Nic, I believe in an all-powerful, loving God who sent his Son, Jesus, to be sacrificed for my sins. It was a one-time forgiveness and it is done. I believe that God gives humans free will, which means there are the results of that free will, both good and bad, all around us on this earth. That free will brings about art, love, beauty, acts of kindness, education and the discoveries of the capabilities of scientific truths regarding how this earth and our bodies work. Science explains gravity, but scientists didn’t create gravity. I didn’t need a scientist to invent my ability to fall out of a 40ft. tree when I was a kid, but scientific discovery can explain why I fell down versus up. If I plant a seed in the earth and add water, I didn’t “invent” germination and the subsequent growth of that seed, but I can study the amazing facets of reality that are unique to this planet, which allows for the process to take place. Taking the branch of one tree and splicing it into another tree takes experimentation and discovery. Scientists discover which unique properties of our earth are present, but they do not create the universal capabilities inherent in our earth. But I really haven not answered your questions…<br /><br />The truth is, I believe in science and the product of science, which is medicine. I am thankful for the doctors and scientists that have researched and found that cutting out half of my tongue is a way to fight the disease of tongue cancer. I am also thankful that some imaginative physician tried taking someone’s forearm tissue and it’s related arteries, veins and nerves and “spliced it” into someone’s tongue to help create a mass that replicated the tongue’s original shape. Believing in science and the amazing features that are unique to our world and/or universe has no bearing on my belief in God. It actually reinforces my belief in God. He created the process of life and it’s inherent ingredients to support life…. Scientists discovered the properties of life and how to experiment in the playground of those properties. Science allows for women who were barren to be able to deliver a beautiful baby… science did not create the DNA that scientists are experimenting with… scientists only are playing with the building blocks that they discovered as existing beneath the lenses of the microscopes that other scientists “created”, which were based on the model of the human eyeball’s lenses.<br /><br />Nic, you asked “why you have such faith in a deity that offers no help or aid in your skin grafts, medicines, radiation therapy…” I would say that your question assumes that my God offers no aid, yet He created the very substrate in which science is able to use in efforts to send me on my way to heal and recover. Science does not guarantee my healing. Science only gives me options to potentially delay my eventual death. If you read my previous blog posts, you will see that I’ve actually addressed this issue in part. I will die. From cancer? Possibly. From a car accident? Maybe. Heart disease? Statistically plausible. All science can do is take the mechanisms it has discovered and use the body’s inherent abilities to find its way to recovery. <br /><br />The same Creator that made life and aided a seed’s ability to germinate aided in the ability of my tongue to accept the graft of my forearm tissue. Just because God uses human’s to be His hands does not mean that He is not behind the result of what healing comes next. <br /><br />God ultimately holds my every breath in His hands. When my time has come, I will move on from this life. I will not blame science for my eventual death anymore than I will give it credit for the life that I have lived. <br /><br />I hope that helps answer your questions, Nic. God bless you in your quest for truth.<br /><br />~Robert <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">To all of my supporters, readers and friends, thank you for your continued prayers as I am continually on the mend.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">~Robert B. Haase,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">A Blessed Man</span></span>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/robert.haase" target="_blank">Be my friend on Facebook</a></span></span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="http://www.gofundme.com/blessingbob">Help me with my medical bills and expenses by donating here: http://www.gofundme.com/blessingbob</a></span></span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="mailto:bob.haase@gmail.com" target="_blank">Email Me</a> </span></span></span></h4>
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-76011507023290481582014-01-26T12:25:00.002-08:002014-01-26T12:25:58.281-08:00Video Blog Post: The Healing Continues<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Hello, my friends. I am posting my first video blog update since my respiratory failure "incident" that occurred a week ago. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers! Your support blesses me dearly.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">~Robert B. Haase,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">A Blessed Man</span></span>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/robert.haase" target="_blank">Be my friend on Facebook</a></span></span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="http://www.gofundme.com/blessingbob">http://www.gofundme.com/blessingbob</a></span></span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="mailto:bob.haase@gmail.com" target="_blank">Email Me</a> </span></span></span></h4>
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015991046481865240.post-54370710851285450412014-01-17T17:19:00.000-08:002014-01-17T17:19:11.000-08:00Death, Driving and Tomorrow<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">About a week and a half ago I climbed behind the wheel of my car to grab something at the store. Having gone off pain meds for a about 8-hours prior to driving, I was safe, so don't worry. What I realized when I entered the open roads was how much I enjoy driving. The freedom to go where I want to go. The way my car can corner. The realization I can control my destination. Kind of a metaphor for life, really. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I love to drive in a fun car. A lot. It is near the top of my list of joys in life. I love a sporty suspension that feels like a go-cart when rounding a tight corner and the centrifugal force pulling me into the side of my sport bucket seat. All the better if done in a convertible. Although I can control the car, I cannot control the road hazards or the behaviors of other drivers on the road. Those who text and drive or drive on "mental auto pilot", not paying attention to what they are doing, drifting off mentally and losing their focus. A road without other cars is far more enjoyable to drive on, but those interactions are part of the process. Again, as in life, the actions of others affect our experience and can rob us of the joy we seek. The smallest of potholes might cause you to spill your morning coffee while a larger, deeper one, might break your axle. This past Saturday, I hit a pothole in life so big that it nearly swallowed my entire car. I'll break from the metaphor and be direct. This past Saturday, I nearly died.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As I mentioned in my last post, my best friend and I were headed to Las Vegas for the annual Consumer Electronics Show. We really had a great time and saw lots of technology. I love technology and it was awesome. Although my doctor cleared me to travel, in hindsight, it probably was not the best of ideas. Being around over a hundred thousand people, walking through airports, flying in a packed plane with recycled air while having an immune system that had been challenged by chemo and radiation was a recipe for disaster. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We arrived late on Thursday night of last week and I didn't get to bed until 3am Friday morning. Because I had to transport cans of "formula" to use in my PEG tube, I checked a bag which weighed nearly 50lbs. Using some food and then replacing the weight with heavy materials from the show, my bag was still 50lbs when we returned. I was fatigued as I attempted to unload the suitcase in the dark from my car in the wee hours of the morning. I lost my balance and fell backwards, hitting the concrete garage floor hard, but I shook it off and went right to bed. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I really am not good at sleeping in, but after waking a few hours later, my friend Gary and I went out and ran some errands. With my mother's 80th birthday just a few days away, there were cakes to order, a planning meeting to attend and groceries to buy. That afternoon, I received a massage for my aches from the fall and then I was off to meet friends for a quick dinner at a local pub. All I could really eat was soup, but soup was not on the menu. The waitress actually called the manager at home and received special permission to let me have a bowl of minestrone. I could almost taste it. It was about 7pm when I left the pub and I headed home. Three hours later, the soup decided it wasn't staying down and I lost it in the sink. Thinking nothing of it, I put some "formula" in my PEG tube, took my medications and made my way to bed. That was the last thing I remember. Going to bed on Friday night. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The next thing I remember was coming out of a fog with a huge set of tubes going down my throat and nearly a dozen bags of chemicals and medicines being forced into my body via a central venous catheter/IV, just under my collar bone. Electrodes were all over my upper body with supporting wires, providing the doctors with vital information on my status. I was in St. Peter's Hospital's Intensive Care Unit and I didn't understand. I was confused and scared. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As I became more coherent, my friend, Tamara and my oldest daughter, Ashley, were at my side, explaining what had happened. Although they apparently had explained it the day before, I had no recollection of being awake prior to that. Thanks to the miracles of medicine, I was given a drug that would cause me to forget the trauma of the preceding 24-hours. In total, I was in St. Peter's for 4-days, coming home just two days ago. During my stay, I was told the specifics and details of what had happened. I cannot help but cry retelling the story as it was told to me, but here goes...<br /><br />On Saturday morning, Tamara, a dear friend of mine, was trying to contact me to see how I was feeling after my trip. She knew I was trying to decrease my medications and was concerned when I did not respond to her emails, texts or voice mails from that morning. She knows my iPhone is nearly always close by and had an uneasy feeling when I was not responding. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Besides being a friend and someone who has assisted me in my business, Tamara also happens to be an RN. As time passed and I still was not responding, her gut told her something was wrong and she contacted Brenda, my landlord, begging her to let her into my town home to make sure I was okay. It was a "God thing." Brenda agreed and met Tamara at my unit. Brenda entered first and yelled out, <i>"Landlord... Robert, are you here?"</i> There was no response. Tamara looked in the garage on the ground floor and saw my car in the garage. They knew I must be home. Still calling out, there was no response from me. As the two entered my master bedroom on the 3rd floor, they found me under my covers in a position described as "decerebrate posturing." I was unresponsive. Tamara was even more concerned from my posture as it most often indicates severe, irreversible brain damage. My upper body/head was arched back and I was rigid as I laid on my left side. My legs were fully extended with feet and toes pointed down. My arms were curled and rotated away from my body. The medics were called and on their way.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As they waited for the medics, Tamara tried but couldn't get my body to move. Eventually, she was able to straighten my torso and arms into neutral position, but when she let go, my rigid posture and positioning returned to how they found me.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />The medics arrived and more tests began... my pupils were pinpoints and nonreactive to light. With Narcan given to reverse effects of my prescription narcotics, my pupils still did not change indicating potential stroke which can lead to the decerebrate posturing.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />My oxygen saturation was not registering for the EMT's pulse oximeter, which cannot read below 50%. When they found me, my head was covered deeply into the blankets and it is likely that I had re-breathed CO2 for some time. Not good. I was hot and pale as well. My first temp was 103.5, but I didn't sweat until I was uncovered and they had given me numerous painful sternal rubs. Worse yet, I wasn't breathing initially, but once I started, my breaths were almost described as "agonal" or "dying breaths", but not quite.<br /><br />With my tongue/throat having gone through surgery and radiation treatment, the medics had a difficult time both intubating me and locating a vein to start an IV. Thankfully, they eventually did and rushed me to the ER.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Test after test was performed throughout the day on Saturday and the official answer as to what happened was septic shock, pneumonia and respiratory failure. When I finally woke, there were no signs of brain damage.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I truly believe that the prayers of Tamara and Brenda at the scene in addition to those of my family, friends and Facebook friend's saved my life. I should not have the capacity to even write this blog, but I am still here, a walking miracle. I will live on for something of great purpose, something bigger than myself. It isn't about "me"... I truly believe I have been allowed to endure so much so that I can draw upon these experiences to be a blessing to others.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I began this blog post talking about driving and I cannot help but think about the Carrie Underwood song, "Jesus Take the Wheel." I truly do not believe that Jesus wants us to give up control of the wheel. He doesn't want to control, but I do believe that He wants us to stop sometimes and ask for directions. My choice to go to Vegas with a compromised immune system put me into an unsafe situation. A dangerous one and I "crashed"... but He heard the prayers of so many and chose yet once again to keep me around for a while. I still do not know exactly what lies ahead for me, but I do know that while I still have the gift of life, I want to use this life to bless others and encourage them in the trials that they face. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What about you? What if you go to bed a week from now and never woke up. What would you do different with the time you have remaining until then? What would you do differently today? What is your purpose? What choices might you make differently? You don't need to give up the wheel... just don't forget to stop and ask for directions. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">~Robert B. Haase,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A Blessed Man</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/robert.haase" target="_blank">Be my friend on Facebook</a></span></span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="http://www.gofundme.com/blessingbob">http://www.gofundme.com/blessingbob</a></span></span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="mailto:bob.haase@gmail.com" target="_blank">Email Me</a> </span></span></span></h4>
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Robert B. Haasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07374765283883229531noreply@blogger.com0